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'more money has to be spent on the road system' - IELTS Essay


btxdzsz 3 / 5  
May 29, 2012   #1
I hope someone cuold help me scrutinize this IELTS essay and give me some useful suggestion,thank you very much.

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on the road system. Some people think that the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that users should pay for the cost. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Our society has changed a great deal in recent decades that most of individual own an automobile at least. It is often argued that the authority should assume the responsibility for ensuring our transport system more widespread and useful. In this essay, I will look at some of the arguments for and against role of public road system.

The authority should invest large sums of money in public road. Supporters of this viewpoint say that the state's role model is make people enjoy the magnificent life in this country. Needless to say the government should pay more attention in this sector, the public system not only could help boost the nations economic, but benefit the whole social structure. For instance, this will bring about more employment opportunities, boost local industrialization, etc.

On the other hand, opponents of this view say that if the government invests more capital in the public transportation system which will influence the pollution rate directly. Though this action will boost the automobile market, I strongly feel that our circumstance and clean atmosphere will disappear swiftly. Because of this, the individual should pay for this expenditure. What is more, the car users must charge more money than any other public transportation. There is no doubt that this action will reduce the car user and urge them to take public vehicle more often. Pollution is the price we pay for overly development, this sort of methodology neglect the negative factor that overexploitation bring us.

In conclusion, my own view is that our government should strike a balance between car user and economic improvement; this will largely diminish the environment pollution and always boost the local development.
phabee007 2 / 2  
May 29, 2012   #2
Hi,
It look goo but i o not see the relationship between thesis statement nad topic sentence in your piece of writing .

sorry cannot give much feedback
Saidakhror 6 / 21  
May 30, 2012   #3
this essay is partially out of topic. the question asks to discuss both views are government's and users' payment for roads. You have to clearly state each of the views, and in conclusion give your opinion. you did it, but it is somehow mixed


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