After leaving work everyday from the tiring job as vice president of Clariden leu, through all the hard work she has done to get to the position she's at, Pamela still finds the time to jog.
name Pamela appears at the end, it appears somewhat confusing; also, the extended description about work, then "to jog"
when she is the one giving you orders at work, or watching her win a 10 mile marathon.
while I like the relaxed tone, you should be me. tell about how she affects
youHer children and friend's
friends* no apostrophe
she has made it her habit.
made what her habit? also, if you plan to connect this part with the previous sentence, you need a semi-colon
eccentric daily obsession of playing games of scrabble which seems to be her only sanity
can't help but laugh @scrabble (inside joke) but her only sanity? what do you mean here? that this is the only break she lets herself have?
alongside
sounds awkward there. maybe you meant as well as. but do you need to mention this? why do you mention this?
This paragraph is all about her, her work, her recreation, teaching,
To awake to her pleasant aroma every morning as she tells everyone, "time to get up", leaving to start a new day as "the boss".
incomplete clause?
She has the softest hands due to her high authority of demanding everyone including her own children to do everything for her as she hugs you as tight as a bear and kisses us bye.
woah. softest hands because ____ that last reasoning part is jumbled. with the hugs and kisses. what did you mean to say?
these things
what things? everything as in what? chores? I'm a bit puzzled again how she shows efficiency by demanding others to do her work.
She puts it on herself, as secretary of the PTA; winner of all steak out competitions she is very hard-working.
again, clauses are a bit jumbled. what is a all steak out competition? maybe the commas are not where they're supposed to be? I don't know...
She cannot be replaced or compared to; she is as special and authentic to her family as a nut is to a squirrel, my mother Pamela Miller.
but you did compare her. "most efficient" "softest" I like that nut thing. haha. I'm guessing it's just your tone in writing that you include things about her, your mother. <these things< appositives where I usually would not place them"
Comments: Wow! I could never bring myself to write such an essay about my mother. very well written with all the description. but wow, this also means that you, Tyler, are one astute person. person you know well, you answered very clearly. As it doesn't ask for influence, I don't think you need it, but maybe include something along those lines?
