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why movies have become a part of life


thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Sep 27, 2009   #1
i am preparing for ielts , i am really worried about my writing. pl check for me grammar, sentence structures and logic. thanks in advance

Why movies are becoming popular all over the world?

There is no doubt that movie is one of the most powerful media means in the history of mankind. In the modern society, movies are popular and also becoming a part of our lives. There are several main reasons explaining for the popularity of movies.

First of all, watching movies is one of the most popular entertainment activities in the modern society. According to statistics, people often spend a large proportion of their free time on movies; because, when they watch movies, they can eliminate anxiety, strain, stress from work, family and feel more comfortable, relax.

In addition, people can achieve and upgrade their own experience and knowledge from watching movies. People can learn about the past such as history, the life in the past, what happened through historical movies. They can not just learn those things about their own countries, but also from others. For example, when a person watch a western movies, he or she can have chance to know about histories, lifestyles, and so on of western countries, which depend on what kinds of movies he or she watch.

Last but not least, people can learn languages when they watch foreign movies. Take me for example, when I was a student, I did not find a good, interesting way to learn English. However, now I often watch English or American movies in my free time, and I find that my English is improved day by day, especially listening skill.

In conclusion, movies have brought many benefits to people. Watching movies is not only a leisure activity, but also a good way to improve knowledge for every one.

OP thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Sep 28, 2009   #2
dear Moderators, i have posted several essays, but i have not received any feedback from you. i also know that feedback from others members is useful; however, i think that it will be much better if i can receive at least feedback from one of you. because sometimes, i wonder whether other members' advice is good or not? i hope i can get your feedback as soon as possible. any way, thanks in advance!
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Sep 28, 2009   #3
Try not to waste space with extra words.

Before: "There is no doubt that movie is one of the most powerful media means in the history of mankind. In the modern society, movies are popular and also becoming a part of our lives. There are several main reasons explaining for the popularity of movies."

After: "Movies are a powerful and popular media because . . ."

And now you have room to actually summarize your reasons.

Other than that, you have the basic structure down.

For example, when a person watch a western movies, he or she can have chance to know about histories, lifestyles, and so on of western countries,

This is frankly a frightening thought, that one might actually think Hollywood movies reflect anything accurately, but it will do for this sort of essay.

Your grammar isn't bad enough to obscure your meaning, though it could use polishing. There are contributors who like fixing that sort of thing, though, so I'll leave you in their capable hands for that.


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