Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


movies and television positive and negative effects; 'distracts young people'


skyss109 2 / 3  
Jun 12, 2012   #1
do you agree or disagree with the following statement? movies and television have more megative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

In the past 50 years, movies and television have become a large part of people's entertainment activities. The influences from movies and television, therefore, have grown exponentially on young people's behavior. There is a continuous debate on what roles movies and television play on young people. From my point of view, I believe that movies and television have harmful effect on young people than a favorable effect.

To begin with, television distracts young people who need to concentrate on their school work. Nowadays, there are so many of cable channels that lure young children and take their attentions from their studying. Because young children are lack of self control and deciding when to stop, if they start watching television, it is hard to stop and make them staying away from it and focus on what they are supposed to do. Even if their parents force them to turn off the television and studying, their mind and attention are with the show that they are addicted to it. Of course, they would not get a good grade on their test and quiz, and have a hard time to focus in the class. They may have a day dream and do not listen to what teacher says because only thing they think is what will happen next on the show. It is like a man who is addicted to drinking and someone enforces him to quit the drinking, this person will never stop thinking himself drinking an alcohol. Also he will not be able to focus any of his work task, and just looking for a way to drink an alcohol. Therefore, watching television has bad effect on young children who need to focus on studying.

Secondly, television makes young people violent, due to the easily accessible to the violent scene by watching television. Violent scene does not only contain aggressive behaviors but also include some inappropriate things like sexual images and showing smoke cigarettes. When they are not protected from those scenes, they easily believe and tend to act like what television shows because they are not mature enough to see what true reality is. These kinds of images can make them believe that as something interesting and fun. Children and teenagers are in a stage of life where they want to be admired by their peers. Therefore, they probably want to experience what they have seen, and become a popular kid among the others. Nowadays, it is not too hard to find news about teenager rapes a girl or have a sexual relationship. Because of exposing sexual image and scene many times, they think that having a physical relationship is no longer dig deal in their life. But they also do not know how important being responsible of what they are doing is. This eventually leads increasing percents of pregnant teenagers and experiencing abortion too. Also, smoking tobacco is the same thing happening these days. Teenagers believe that smoking is some kind of cool to do. Even if they realize what they have done later, and try to quit smoking, they already addict to nicotine. So television can provide young people a wrong idea and make them believe what they are doing is fine to do.

To sum up, I understand there are many of advantages of watching television and movies. People are able to release stress by watching movies and television has educational programs for young people. But you cannot deny that young people should have more time to play with others outside so that they can have interactions with them, and it is much better to read a book to gain knowledge. So I strongly believe that television and movies have negative effect on young people.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 12, 2012   #2
Therefore influencesfromof movies and television, therefore,have has grown exponentially on young people's behavior.

From my point of view, I believe that movies and television have harmful effects on young people than a favorable effect.----------- I like the way you state your opinion.... It is very direct and clear and the reader now exactly know your view on this and set his mind to follow the rest of your essay in this direction. :)

To begin with, television distracts young people who need to concentrate on their school workstudies . ------- I feel "studies" sounds better :)

Because young children are lack of self control and therefore cannot decideing when to stop, if they start watching television, it is hard to stop and make them staying away from it and focus on what they are supposed to do.they would easily be addicted to watching television or movies that would adversly affect their studies . ------------ Try to avoid writing too lengthy sentences because that will harm the clarity of your idea.

Even if their parents force them to turn off the television and get back to studying, their mind and attention are with the show that they are addicted to it.may still be with it.

I suggest you to leave one blank line between paragraphs because that would give a more neat and tidy look to your essay. It's a good practice that will help you at the real exam too :)
OP skyss109 2 / 3  
Jun 12, 2012   #3
thank you so much for correcting my essay. it was hard for me to find the errors.. its really good to have someone to read this and make sure it makes sense to someone else besides me:) please keep correcting my essays that i post on here:)


Home / Writing Feedback / movies and television positive and negative effects; 'distracts young people'
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳