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[TOEFL] Moving to a new city or country is not agood idea because you will lose your old friends


goo9dan 2 / 3 1  
Feb 19, 2017   #1

Moving out means losing friends?



Based on their personal beliefs, some people might say that we should not move to a new city or country because we will lose our old friendships. However, I strongly believe that if you move to a new city, you can maintain your friendships and make them stronger. Let me explain why.

Firstly, living away from your friends is a great opportunity for your friendships to grow. We can think about the relationship sincerely when we are apart from each other. Often, distance makes the heart grow fonder. For example, when I stayed with my girlfriend in Vancouver, I used to happily recall the good times that I spent with my old friends from middle school and high school. My friends also experienced the same thing. So, we tried to talk and care for each other more often.

Secondly, distance can help a relationship grow stronger. This is because there are a lot of things that we can share with each other, such as politics and culture. If we stay in one city our entire life, we may not have anything fun or interesting to share. Also, we can inform each other about current events. For example, if one of my friends is curious about the reaction regarding the prime minister of Canada, then, I can accurately inform them right away. So it's more beneficial for us. According to the study conducted by Harvard University, the more people who move to another city or country, the more their relationships with old friends become stronger.It reveals that distance is not an important factor to maintain or make our friendships stronger.

In conclusion, moving to a new city or country allows us to not only maintain our old friendships, but also gives us the opportunity to deepen our relationships by making our friendships stronger.

Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Feb 19, 2017   #2
Asol, please make sure that you post the complete prompt for your TOEFL practice test for our reference. Do not use the prompt as a title for your essay. Repeated violations of the title rule will result in your account suspension. Anyway, I believe that this is an agree or disagree essay so I will score it accordingly. If you wish to, you may also post the complete prompt people for scoring adjustments if any.

In all honesty, you could have scored a 5 on this essay had you not missed one very important point in the development of your opening statement. Your prompt restatement because inaccurate because you were unable to declare your disagreement with the statement provided at the start of the prompt. That is important because your essay discussion will be based upon the opinion that you started at the essay. Since the prompt restatement was incomplete, I had to deduct points for it. The overall essay is well developed though and allows for an understandable discussion of the prompt requirement. You used ample examples to support your stance and really made a very strong series of points that enlightened the reviewer towards your point of view. The score I was forced to give your essay is a 4 instead. Sorry about that. Points really had to be deducted as I explained earlier.
OP goo9dan 2 / 3 1  
Feb 19, 2017   #3
@Holt
Oh Holt Thanks for replying. I didn't knot the rule of this website. I didn't meant it, I will follow the rule of it from now.

anyway I'm a little confused with the reason you mentioned above.
should I don't add the opposite side of my view? or should I add the opposite side of my view precisely?
Thanks in advance. I'm learning english everyday at home!!
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Feb 19, 2017   #4
The full prompt for the essay dictates that you either agree or disagree with the statement provided. Therefore, you have to consider which side of the statement you believe to be true and choose to discuss that. Keep in mind that you need to be able to provide examples or reasons that are valid for your decision to either agree or disagree so pick the side that you can best discuss. There is no need to add an opposing point of view in the discussion because that is not required by the prompt instructions. Just provide the information being asked for. Do not add information that is not required because that will result in points deduction for you. The TOEFL test is very specific when it comes to its requirements and the points deductions are massive in the end so one simple mistake in the presentation of information, such as presenting information not required, could have unexpected consequences for your final score.


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