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The multi-stage process of creating a coffee (Task 2)


irfan727 49 / 88 29  
Dec 6, 2015   #1
The diagram reveals that the process of making coffee through different stages. It is started with selecting of coffee beans from field and ended when the coffee is ready to be packed into jars.

What stands out from the process diagram illustrates 11 stages. First, the beans of coffee is harvested by several labours on the morning. Then, the selected beans are dried in the yard until make sure the beans are ready prior to roasted. After that, the process of cooling quickly is needed before going to the next step of grinding manually. This produces the powder of coffee. Afterwards, it is mixed with the hot water and filter the mixture. Furthermore, it is followed by a freezing process.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, the next stage is the procedure of re-drying in a vacuum. By this, water which included in the powder will be separated by the high temperature. Finally, the coffee powder is prepared to be packaging and labelling before sending to market.




ayibram 6 / 18 2  
Oct 12, 2017   #2
@irfan727
Hi Irfan, I found some grammar mistakes in your writing:

First, the beans of coffee is are harvested by several labours on in the morning.
... are ready prior to roasted roast.


Overall, your writing is good since you point out appropriate key process :)
BigBoy 2 / 4  
Oct 12, 2017   #3
@irfan727
Hello. Your description is fair enough but i would querry your grammatical construction. There are so many of them and they would go all the way to affect your marks. Your opening statement "the diagram reveals that ..." or "making of coffee".

I think coffee beans should be sustained rather than "beans of coffee".
Also, i think "furthermore" should rather be used to begin a paragraph not ending one.
I suggest you keenly go through your essay again and make some re-constructiin of the sentences.
TJLuschen - / 259 190  
Oct 12, 2017   #4
Hi, here are my suggestions:

reveals that the process

It is started with the selecting of coffee beans from field and ends when the coffee has been packed into jars.

What stands out is that the process is very complicated, with the diagram illustrating 11 stages.

First, the coffee beans are harvested by several laborers in the morning. {how do you know this takes place in the morning?}

dried in the yard until make sure the beans are ready prior to be roasted.

This produces the ground coffee. Afterwards, it is mixed with the hot water and filter the mixture is filtered.

Furthermore, {"furthermore" is not really a time or sequence transition, it is an additive transition } it is followed by a freezing process.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, {this analysis is not any more detailed than your previous one, just later on in the process} the next stage is the procedure of re-drying in a vacuum. {why "re-drying"? I don't see that it had been dried before}

water which had been included in the powder

prepared to be packaged and labelled before being sent to market.
OP irfan727 49 / 88 29  
Oct 13, 2017   #5
ok. thanks guys for your valuable responses


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