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'Multitasking skills' - Effects of new technology on society


tharncl 2 / 3  
Jul 30, 2012   #1
This is my second essay, please kindly review and advise.
Thank you so much.
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The enhancements of new technology make people life change slightly. Most of features are helpful and comfortable but some of them affect to education and family environment. Multitasking, distraction, and relationship are some negative impacts to our society caused by new technology.

Multitasking skills have changed student style in society. They believe that the benefits of multitasking are immense. Nevertheless, professors do not agree that. Professor Nass did the multitasking skills experiment to his students in research lab. He revealed that students were distracted frequently and this might lead them to be people who are unable think well and clearly. In the meantime, Professor David said multitasking skills were not possible. Students were unable to do either thing well and they were distracted by everything else.

New technology constantly interrupts students from their assignments. Most of adolescents are always distracted by Facebook, message and email. Instructors had adversely commented regarding the student's essay. Unconnected paragraphs in their essay are the consequence from playing smart phone during writing. Also, reading a book more than 200 pages is not possible. In order to attain long reading readily, students must leave all electronics devices and turn to read their book discreetly.

Furthermore, the obvious effect of new technology is relationship. Relationships tend to breakdown because of social media. Teenagers always update their status and chat to friends. Even at lunch or dinner time, they talk to parents occasionally and it is caused becoming distant relationship. Additionally, there are unavoidable computer programs that attract the children all the time. They spend a lot of time in their private room without conversion to anyone no matter friends or parents.

In brief, slow reaction and disorganized thinking are affected by new technology that forces people multitasking. Besides, students are lured by electronic media and it drops their logical thinking efficiency. Also, if they are inevitable new technology, they will become to lonely person at last.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Jul 31, 2012   #2
Hi :) I can help you with your grammar

The enhancements of new technology make people life change slightly.
Maybe say this: "Technological enhancements have changed most people's lives."

Most of features are helpful and comfortableconvenient but some of them affect to education and family environment.

Multitasking, distraction, and relationship are some negative impacts to our society caused by new technology.

You mean to say: "New technology can have negative affects on society, because it causes distraction...". These negative impacts are kind of vague, be more clear, in order to strengthen your argument. In your first paragraph, you briefly mention the basis for the argument, and your reasons to support it. This is definitely the right way to do this, but it could be stronger, maybe re-word this a bit.

Multitasking skills have changed student style in society.
I think that "style" is not the right word here... explore some other options for describing the point you are trying to make.

He revealed that students were distracted frequently distracted,and thiswhich might lead them to be people who are unable to think well and clearly.


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