The prompt:
Rather than concentrating on doing one thing at a time, high school students often divide their attention among several activities, such as watching television and using the computer while doing homework. Educators debate whether performing several tasks at the same time is too distracting when students are doing homework. Some educators believe multitasking is a bad practice when doing homework because they think dividing attention between multiple tasks negatively affects the quality of students' work. Other educators do not believe multitasking is a bad practice when doing homework because they think students accomplish more during their limited free time as a result of multitasking. In your opinion, is it too distracting for high school students to divide their attention among several activities when they are doing homework? In your essay, take a position on this question. You may write about either one of the two points of view given, or you may present a different point of view on this question. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
Time limit: 30 minutes.
I fully believe teenagers who multitask while doing their homework are restricting their critical thinking capabilities. As a result, these students are unable to fully comprehend what they study. In contrast, the student who focuses on homework alone is fully alert and is able to comprehend and think more about the subject at hand.
To support my opinion, I have tested this idea upon myself. For the first week, I would focus my time on completing my precalculus homework, then, I would play video games. The next week, I would divide my attention in half: one half would be spent doing homework while the other half would be spent playing video games. The results were conclusive. During the first week of this experiment, I was more attentive in class, I participated in class discussions, and my homework grades stayed consistently high. However, during the following week, I was less attentive, less likely to answer the teacher's questions accurately, and my homework reports showed that I dropped a letter lower.
Secondly, high students who have part-time jobs, relationships, and extracurricular activities tend to divide their time doing homework and catching up with friends. An hour or so before curfew, these students would open their textbooks and log on to Facebook at the same time. Although they conversed with their friends for a large portion of the day, they would probably spend more time on Facebook than on their textbooks. Because of this, these students lost valuable time, and are unable to make ingest the necessary information needed to know the material for the next class discussion. Their homework scores may drop, as well.
Finally, school work and social activities should be balanced. Students who work focus their energy on work, while athletic students focus their time on the field or indoors. They do not solve equations or analyze Shakespeare during halftime. So, in just the same aspect, students should focus on their homework rather than exercise or socialize.
In conclusion, teenagers who multitask while doing homework are more likely to see grade-drops, and they tend to participate less in class discussions. Because multitasking is inefficient, teenagers should separate homework with their social activities.
I really like the essay! I think you took a proper stand on the prompt and supported your essay well with three clear examples of why multitasking is not ideal. The only thing I would recommend you add, is a counterargument to your view on this prompt. It doesn't have to be an entire paragraph, but even a couple of explanatory lines of why you think the opposite could possibly be beneficial for students would work. A counterargument can add cohesiveness to your essay and make it sound much more polished and analytical, which is, of course, what the readers are looking for!
I fully believe teenagers who multitask(??) while doing their homework are restricting their critical thinking capabilities.
... fully agree sounds better.
As dumi suggested, I too feel you need to introduce the topic before stating your opinion. This sounds like a direct answer to a question. Anyway, here I find a few grammar issues;
I believe that teenagers who adopt a multitasking approach. restrict their critical thinking capabilities.. As a result, these students are unable to fully comprehend what they study.
... actually, students cannot fully comprehend what they study because of their concentration is disturbed. I feel you should have brought up that point.
