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'museum can attract visitors' - [ielts] topic with museum


renlyso 4 / 18  
Nov 7, 2012   #1
I have learnt 4-paragraph structure today and applied to this essay. PLZZZZZ give me some comments .

Some people believe that the purpose of museums is to entertain, while others argue that museums are built for education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some museums tend to focus on entertain, while others are more educative. Personally, I believe that museum can and should synthesis the aspects of entertain and education.

Clearly, a great number of museums, especially the kind of art, attract visitors through some entertain activities. There is no doubt that people have got sufficient theoretical knowledge in the text book and suffer from much pressure in study; therefore, few of them prefer to visit a boring place, just like extra schooling, in leisure time. In this case, providing different activities related to the exhibition, museum is more adorable towards individuals.

However, it offers a chance for people to obtain knowledge in terms of the educative kind of museums. The initial purpose of museum is showing something that visitors did not previously know and expending their outlooks. For instant, teachers will organize students to go to special museum, such as history science and finance museums, for sake of educating students by complemented knowledge.

On balance, the combination of entertain and education can best achieve the main goal of museum. It is unnecessary for people to obtain information mechanically in museum during free time. In other word, museum can attract visitors by building a relaxing atmosphere, a methodology bringing about the same result-enriching people`s knowledge. Moreover, visitors will easier to remember the information related to the activities they experienced in the exhibition. Hence, the combination caters the initial purpose of the museum more successfully, allowing people to obtain knowledge in a more easy way.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Nov 7, 2012   #2
open the introduction with a motivator and give some general information about the topic (general background), then write the thesis statement. In addtition, you should mention your opinion in the conclusion in this type of topic. If the topic were an "agree or disagree" type, you should state your opinion at the end of the introduction.
OP renlyso 4 / 18  
Nov 7, 2012   #3
Thanks!!ah_zafari~ :-)

It is true that function of museum transforms into diversification today.Some museums tend to focus on entertain, while others are more educative. Personally, I believe that museum can and should synthesis the aspects of entertain and education.

Is that better?

'museum can and should synthesis the aspects of entertain and education.'this cannot be an opinion???Should I choose one side of the argument?

and..how about the body?
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Nov 8, 2012   #4
It is true that function of museum transforms into diversification today.Some museums tend to focus on entertain, while others are more educative. Personally, I believe that museum can and should synthesis the aspects of entertain and educationBut the question is that which viewpoint is correct? Have museum been created with entertaining purposes or they have educational goals? .

I replaced your opinion with some questions, because you should answer these questions first, and then give your opinion. As I said before, if the topic were an "agree or disagree" one, you should write your opinion in the introduction, but in this essay you should write your opinion in a separate paragraph in the body (after writing about two different views stated in the topic), or state your opinion in the conclusion. This structure is recommended by many examiners and academic writing books.

'museum can and should synthesis the aspects of entertain and education.' this cannot be an opinion???Should I choose one side of the argument?

NO, this essay is not an "agree or disagree" one. In this type of topic you should write one paragraph about first view (those who think that the purpose of museums is to entertain) and one paragraph about the second view (museums are built for education). You can write your opinion in the third paragraph of the body and mention which side of the discussion is in agreement with your opinion, or you can give your opinion in the conclusion.

I will read the rest of the essay once I find free time.
OP renlyso 4 / 18  
Nov 8, 2012   #5
THX.I really appreciate it

I think I got what u mean.
in this tpye of essay, I should not write the own opinion first.

BUT..I find one example in the examiner`s blog... I am confused... :-(((

Last week we looked at a 'problem and solution' introduction. Today I'll use the same technique (2 sentences: topic + basic answer) to write a 'discussion and opinion' introduction.

Here's a question (from Cambridge IELTS 6):

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Here's my 2-sentence introduction:

It is true that sports stars often earn huge salaries. While there are some good reasons why this is the case, I personally believe that it is wrong for these people to be paid more than other professionals.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Nov 8, 2012   #6
what has been written in the weblog is not a good structure for writing a goodintroduction (it is not wrong, but it is not the best). I think this weblog is trying to show an easier way for writing an introduction. This method is suitable for people who are not good enough in writing (I know that you are not one of them). But remember that all essays should be opened with a motivator (an attractive statement that gives some general information about the topic). Then, reword the topic (this is what is called "thesis statement"). And finally, "your opinion" that I explained about it through the previous posts.
OP renlyso 4 / 18  
Nov 9, 2012   #7
OK, I got it.
you answer is really helpful~
ibadullah 2 / 7 1  
Nov 10, 2012   #8
Plz every one comment on this

There are different kinds of people having different personalities and opinions living all over the world. As the statement says that some of the people think that museum are build for the sake of just entertainment so i agree with these people and the people which say that they are build for the education, I also agree with them. This is explained as below.

There are diversification in museums for example 'Historical Museum' in which the museum reveals about the history of some place or of some famous people. So the people who are interested in history will go there and get entertained from it . These people are those who does not belong to history field because they are just ordinary people who have different profession and there are some people for example masters students who have to research in the history field so that museums will become an education place for them and also entertained from it. Similarly there are so many other museums which are related to Engineering, Artistic and Mural fields etc. So some people willl go there on the behalf of their education profession while other for just entertainment in excursions time.

In conclusion i must say that it depends on the interest because both kind of people get entertainment and education. for example if one person is an electrical engineer then he prefers to go to that museum which is according to his profession to obtain knowledge from it and get entertained so the museum will become an entertainment and education place for him. If the other person who is an ordinary and if he has some interest in that field then he will go for the entertainment otherwise he will not go. The government should build museum in such a way that both parties will entertained and educate.


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