To my mind, an acceptable museum is something which satisfies both educational as well as aesthetic need of an individual, irrespective of their gender,age and believes
Well.... first, the word "aesthetic" is concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty. However, your prompt is about "entertainment" which really does not refer to "aesthetic appealing" direct. You need to align your writing with what is expected by the prompt and it is very important for you to earn good scores for this task.
Secondly, you talk about differences of gender, age and beliefs. However, your topic has no relavance for these issues and hence that inclusion sounds a bit irrelevant.
This is my suggestion;In my view, museums need to satisfy both educational and entertainment requirements of individuals.
... Be more direct when expressing your opinion.