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MUSEUMS AND ART GALLERIES ARE NOT NEEDED TODAY


chinhsy2 4 / 5  
Jun 3, 2020   #1
Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



In modern times, many people believe museums and exhibitions are no longer necessary since they can appreciate such artefacts online. I would have to say I strongly err on the side of disagreeing with this suggestion.

Museums and galleries are a means to conserve antique and historical items. They are not only a paragon of beauty but also a mark of rich and varied culture since online observers can easily be confused a work of art with its origin. The Lourve, for instance, is the world's largest museum and historical monument, housing over 380000 objects ranging from Mona Lisa to Great Sphinx of Tanis. Moreover, without museums and associated places, tourists would have no culturally and historically important destinations to visit, and, more seriously, local children would not have any chance to witness what they have theoretically learnt at school

To fully appreciate art, one must observe the entirety of the genuine piece, rather than the digitalized version of it. It is not through a screen that the harmony of colours or the shifting of emotions can truly be understood. In addition, museums and the likes provide people with exquisite experience, namely the nostalgia of historical times, that electronic devices cannot suffice. Memorial houses and art museums offer first-hand experience to visitors so that they can sense the atmosphere of historical events and people as well as contemplate artistic masterpieces with their bare eyes.

In conclusion, even though the online-based information is a great way to learn about historical works and objects, museums and exhibitions are still important for real experience and irreplaceable.
Bhavi 2 / 6  
Jun 3, 2020   #2
@chinhsy2
Nicely written
Well organised,
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Jun 3, 2020   #3
You have written a good piece that is only marred by your vocabulary usage. You have chosen words that you hope would increase your LR score rather than choosing words that would better suit the simplicity of the discussion. In which case, you ended up using words in the wrong manner, thus reducing your LR and GRA score instead. Whoever told you that you have to use complex vocabulary to get a good score was incorrect. You need to use natural sounding vocabulary that makes the sentence easy for the reader to understand. Using archaic words such as "err" , which actually misdirected your response, making it confusing to understand, looks good on paper, but may not be good for the meaning of the presentation.

Both your reasoning paragraphs focused only on trying to use vocabulary in an impressive manner rather than presenting a clear and well developed essay discussion per paragraph. This further added to the reader's confusion when it came to trying to understand what you had to say. For example, in paragraph 2, you should have presented sentence 3 before sentence 2. Reverse the positions and you will find that your discussion would have been better supported by the example and your meaning would have been clearer upon the first reading of the passage. The same problem exists for paragraph 3. These are the primary reasons why your essay will leave the examiner thinking that your essay is under developed and lacking in explanation. Your vocabulary usage isn't the only scoring consideration. Balance your focus for each scoring aspect. One is no more important than the other. Each contributes to your increased scoring potential.

You misspelled Louvre as Lourve. See? Even with your heavy focus on vocabulary, the lack of spell checking resulted in your misspelled word. Do not under estimate the importance of spellchecking and content editing. These could help you pass the test in the future.

Kindly review he opening restatement and concluding summary requirements. Both need to have at least 3 sentences in the presentation. They have similar functions in the presentation, except the latter is a reverse summary of the former. You need to summarize the preceding discussion for the concluding summary.


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