discovering cultures and learning history
38. Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places.
Many museums and historical places often draw tourists instead of local inhabitants because these places are too familiar with them. Therefore in order to catch more local people's attention, governments should display works from other countries and areas.
The main reason why local people not engaging in museums and historical sites to which are mainly paid a visit by tourists is that their works and historical items are often familiar with local people. In fact, governments often display items reflecting their own history which local people are taught in schools and used to, whereas tourists are interested in these unfamiliar works. This results in museums not attracting local people. For instance, most museums and historical sites where display items such as guns, warship from wars in Vietnam are visited by foreigners rather than local inhabitants . Therefore many museums and historical places are mainly visited by tourists rather than people who live in these places.
In order to appeal to more local people to visit these places, governments should exhibit more works and historical items from other parts of their countries and foreign countries. Since, these works are new to local people, they will want to pay a visit to these places so as to discover new cultures and items and broaden their horizons. This can lead to increase the number of local inhabitants visiting these places. For example, in Vietnam the number of local people visiting museums showing foreign works are higher than that of museums showing domestic works. Hence the best way drawing local people's eyes is to display more foreign works and historical items from other places and counties instead of only showing their own historical ones.
A few key terms I want you to work on: punctuation, grammar, and preposition.
In terms of substantiation of content, your essay is sufficient. You have well-developed and sub-divided your thoughts into clusters. I would only suggest that you try to be wary of the forms of your words. I have noticed that there were instances wherein you needed to cut down your language to create more straightforward content; doing this will help you minimize mistakes as well.
Let's revise a few parts.
The main reason why local people do not engage in museums and historical sites is because of their familiarity.* The government puts on displays items that are reflections of historical lessons; this only draws tourists because of their unfamiliarity. [...] For example, Vietnamese museums displaying guns and warships from the wars are heavily toured by foreigners. [...]
*It is unnecessary for you to mention that tourists pay for these attractions because it does not align with the intent and content of this paragraph.
I would suggest omitting the last sentence here because it's a mere repetition. Try to conclude your paragraphs in a better light. For instance, in this sentence, you can discuss perhaps that these events are often traumatic scars for the local people; hence, they do not find it as fascinating to tour these areas.
Try using more specific examples for your content.
Best of luck.