Subject: There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important and should it be preserved or is international music that is heard everywhere nowadays more useful to a society?
the healing music
Music has always been a part of people lives as musical instruments go back to thousands years ago. It represents a part of nations' cultures and a way to enjoy life. More than this, it has become a tool used by psychologists to relieve their patients' pain or to help them improve their personalities. It doesn't matter what type of music a person listens to or where it comes from as long as it is enjoyable and relaxing.
Music plays an important role in our life. It makes people happy and helps them overcome daily life stress. Likewise, music tells about the history and the culture of communities. It is a piece of identity. As an illustration, Listening to Indian music takes you to the colorful streets of India, makes you smell spices and dance like an Indian. Moreover, music is nowadays used as a psychological treatment used by experts to make people outsource negative feelings and improve their performance. For instance, in Neuro linguistic programming, music is a tool to gain self-confidence by invoking a person's achievements and linking them to a song.
Traditional music is a part of culture, however, listening to music shouldn't be under conditions, people have the right to weather listen to their traditional music or to international music that is heard everywhere nowadays. Young people generally prefer music like R&B, rock and roll, or pop, while elderly tend to love traditional music. In my opinion, it doesn't matter what music style we are listening to as long as it provides us nice sensations.
Music is a healing, a relaxing solution saving us from a stressful lifestyle; it is also a therapy and a connection between people. No matter what kind of music it is, traditional or international, music remains a good way to wellness, happiness and joy.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Hanaa, your prompt paraphrase is missing from this essay. Even though this is a direct discussion essay, it is important that you first present the prompt restatement in order to prove that you understood what the discussion is requiring of you. The correct paraphrase for this essay prompt is:
Due to the many differing styles of music available today, the question as to whether or not we need music has become a point of discussion. More importantly, music listeners are now being asked to determine if traditional music meaningful these days. In addition to that, there is also a question as to whether or not the traditional type of music needs to be protected or if popular music has more relevance in today's society. It is my belief that (pick one side to support)...
You cannot sit on the fence and say you agree with both sides. That does not answer the question posed at the end of the essay. Remember, the term "or" means you have to pick one. You cannot discuss both because the instructions does not include "both points of view". The lack of decision making skills on your part will result in a tangential response to the essay that will also mean that your essay will only receive a partial score in the TA section of the test.
Your response is really good. It just doesn't properly focus on responding to the questions being asked in the prompt. That is why your response is not fully appropriate for the discussion topic. You responded properly to the question "Why do we need music?" but failed to respond to the analytical choice question regarding traditional and popular music.
