Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


essay about myself, when/where I was born, my study, hobbies, etc.


crawling 1 / -  
Oct 17, 2008   #1
In this essay, I am going to talk about myself in these ideas, When and where did I born, my study and my aim, and my hobbies favorite kind of music.

First of all, I have born in Riyadh the capital city of Saudi Arabia in 1989. My big family from Suder, it's a town in north of Riyadh. Now I live with my family I have three brothers, and one sister. I am the baggiest one.

Secondly, I am in the second year in the college and I hope I complete. My aim is to be a manger in my father's company because of that I decided to be in Biasness College.

Last but not least, my hobbies are playing football, and basketball, also I like the internet and hang out with my friends. My favorite kind or genres of music are Rock, Pop, Rap, and Hip Hop.

To conclude, I am one if I like something I got it, if I cant I just dream about it and hope to have it some time. I am not that much I am very easy and clear my heart is always open.

thank you from now
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Oct 17, 2008   #2
"...I am the baggiest one." What does "baggiest" describe here? Do you mean biggest? I'm not sure... :)

"...company and because of that I decided to be in Biasness College." Do you mean "business" here? Also, college should not be capitalized.

"Last but not least, my hobbies are playing football (Remove comma) and basketball. A lso I like the internet and hanging out with my friends. My favorite kinds of music are Rock, Pop, Rap, and Hip Hop." These should not be capitalized.

"To conclude, I am one if I like something I got it, if I cant I just dream about it and hope to have it some time.This is awkward; perhaps rephrase to something like "I am the type of person who, if I want something I get it; if I can't, then I just dream about it and hope I get it sometime." I am not that much(What do you mean here? Please clarify.) I am very easy and clear. M y heart is always open."

I hope this helps.


Home / Writing Feedback / essay about myself, when/where I was born, my study, hobbies, etc.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳