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Nadia Lopez wants to open a new school, located in a place with high crimes rate in Brownsville

Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 17, 2016   #1
IELTS Summary TED (v) Nadia Lopez Why open a school To close a prison

Nadia Lopez, an educator and social activist, said "I want to open a school and close a prison" which she cited from Victor Hugo quote. The implication from the quote is she wants open a new school which located in a place with high crimes rates in Brownville section, Brooklyn. According to NYPD records, Brownsville is a city with the greatest crime rate in the US, particularly in shooting case. Commonly, like other orphan schools, she also faces several crucial problems such as low parental involvement, lack of funding and finding educators. Moreover, bad environment and high crime rates also contribute as obstacles in her way. Not over in that case, her students also have several problems come from their internal problems such as more than a quarter are need special treatment, majority of them unable in English and Math and all of students living in poverty.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,816 2619  
Nov 17, 2016   #2
Dioba, you have only presented the problems that Nadia Lopez faces in opening her school. A citation of the number of students involved in crime would have helped to illustrate the point that Brownsville has a problem with crime in relation to education. For the readers who are not familiar, you should have included a simple explanation of what an orphan school is based upon the discussion in the video. A single sentence describing such would have sufficed. Finally, always remember that when you present the negative, you need to present the positive as well. That means, your closing portion should have indicated the possible solutions that Nadia Lopez is looking at in order to keep the students in school and out of prison. Those were all mentioned in the video and should have been presented in summary form here as well. Without it, the summary comes across as imbalanced and lacking in a proper discussion summary.

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