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NARRATIVE PAPER: on a lesson learned (sports). Question on comma placement.


rod606 1 / 1  
Jun 19, 2010   #1

NARRATIVE PAPER: Sports - on a lesson learned



Many of life's lessons come with age and years of experience in many different situations. However, when being young it is often hard to recognize life lessons in a challenging experience. Even though I am in still high school and that takes much of my time, I have learned a lesson this summer that will impact me the rest of my life.

I have been an active sportsman for many years of my life but I haven't come across one activity that thrills me as much as bowfishing. I was a mere spectator of the sport up until the beginning of this summer. I was not totally new to hunting with a bow since I bow hunt each fall for deer, but something about fishing with a bow really seemed odd and different than anything else I had tried to do. Not one to just jump into something unprepared, I spent hours on the internet watching countless how-to videos and reading blogs of bow fishermen describing the fun and excitement of what they call "Slinging String". After all this research, I decided to give this sport a try and ordered my own bow.

Bowfishing consist of a not so regular bow. This specially designed bow has a fishing reel built into the side of it, where it attaches to the arrow by a fishing line. Many believe you just aim at the fish and shoot, but it's much more than that. It takes a lot of skill and patience and each of these I had to learn throughout the process.

The day my bow came in I was more than excited. I had anxiously waited for over a week and everyday was nothing short of torture. Each day I would check every entrance to our house and no bow. The suspense almost killed me. The one afternoon I came in from work tired, hungry and wore out there stood the large oddly shaped box and knew right away it had to be my bow, finally it had come in. Suddenly, I had an unexplained spurt of energy, forget those hunger pains. I couldn't get out to Wright Patman Lake quick enough to try out my skills and this amazing new bow.

Pulling up at the lake, I found a good clear place on the side of the river to test my skills. Battling the pesky gnats and biting flies I tramped down the banks to the perfect spot where I would surely shoot my first fish. Standing on the bank I could see the outlines of the nasty, ugly, prehistoric looking Carp and Gar lurking in the murky green water below. After I stood still on the banks for a few minutes, which felt like an eternity to me, the fish started swimming closer unaware of my presence. I drew my arrow back, grateful for watching all those videos, remembering their instructions: slow and steady, deep breath in and release. As I let the arrow go, I exhaled. The arrow went flying out toward the fish, but somehow I missed my mark. Not feeling too upset, after all it was my first shot, I reeled in the lone arrow and reset for another shot. Again a fish swam by, I carefully took my shot, but once again I came up empty handed. My patience was wearing thin and anger was building up, I was almost at the point of eruption. What was I doing wrong, I asked myself. I was getting frustrated and I wanted to just throw the bow down and quit. But just as that thought crept into my mind, I saw a huge Carp swimming below the water's surface, and he was so big he looked like Moby Dick. I had another shot and I wanted that fish! So I took a deep breath, let the arrow go. As the string hit the water, I was unsure if I had hit my mark and doubt crept in again but suddenly the string tightened with such force that the pull almost jerked the bow out of my hands. I had him and this fish was a fighter. I reeled and reeled until my arms felt like rubber. After what seemed like an hour of fighting, I finally hauled him to the shore. The pride of getting my first fish by a bow was overwhelming, especially since I had considered giving up the sport a few moments before my big snag. The next shot seemed easier and when the line went flying out to strike the unsuspecting fish it was like "music to my ears". Of course, I didn't get a fish every time I shot, but with each shot it got easier and easier and I became surer of my ability to conquer this sport.

In all, I shot 10 fish by the end of that afternoon, a record that I am out to beat in my next trip to the river. Throughout this experience, as frustrating as it was, I found out that something new will always be a challenge but I should never give up if I don't excel immediately. I learned that to be skillful in an art of any kind I must push myself through a disappointing performance and continue until I conquer the new art, adventure or educational challenge I am pursuing. Each step I take forward instead of giving up, will take me closer to achieving my goals of success in life. And of course, one other important thing I learned is that practicing never hurts.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jun 20, 2010   #2
You can always make writing more powerful if you express the same size idea in fewer words:
Many of Life's lessons come with age and years of from experience in many different diverse situations, but However when being young it is often hard for young people to recognize those lessons during a challenging experience.

The way you wrote it was excellent, but overweight. I put that intro on a diet for you!

Use during:
am out to beat during my next trip to the river.

This is great! I suggest adding a thesis sentence to the end of the first paragraph . Let it be a sentence that plainly stated the lesson you learned. Can you express it in a sentence??? :-)


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