I am a first year student at a local community college, This is my first semester and I am taking the class Writing 1, the assignment is to write a narrative paragraph on the worst job I have ever had. This is what I have come up with. I would like some advice on any changes I should make.
I also need help coming up with a strong concluding sentence for the paragraph.
Thank you in advance, Jeff
My Worst Employment Experience
In the spring of 2003 I worked for a tyrannical little man named Tom, I had answered an ad on the Internet for an heavy equipment operator, for at the time I was a good one. Now, I should have known that the job was not desirable, for the lack of local interest, and the company's felt need to advertise on the Internet for out of state employees during a time of economic downturn. I traveled to South Carolina with the promise of fare wages and decent hours and good equipment, this was but a few of the half truths I had in store for me. Tom lived the dream that all his problems were caused by the errors of his operators and placed no blame on the ill maintained, tired equipment; all of which were well beyond the rebuild lifespan. The first day I worked for Tom, I was assigned to ride with an operator; whom, promptly did not show up for work, so I took the machine, for which I was quite qualified to operate and went to the job site. Half way through the day, a major mechanical malfunction occurred with the tired machine I was assigned. I having had the experience of a good operator of 5 years, promptly repaired the machine and continued the day without incident. When I returned to the shop I was met with screaming and belittlement, of which no man or woman deserved, especially that of a person who had saved the owner of the fleet hundreds if not thousands of dollars by making an on site repair instead of waiting for the response of a mechanic. This was the first of many such episodes I witnessed while working for Tom. I abruptly ended my employment due to unsafe equipment, unfair and biased job assignments, as well as the daily belittlement's from the selfish, hypocritical, harassing, business owner. <I am having trouble coming up with a strong concluding sentance>
In the spring of 2003, I answered an out-of-state advertisement for a heavy-equipment operator in South Carolina. I never questioned the company's reason for advertising on the internet during an economic downturn, as I thought the wages and hours were adequate.
****Did you just show up or interview first? Did you meet Tom on the interview?****
My first day on the job, I was assigned to ride with an operator, who failed to show up for work. I climbed into the _____ and started for _____. Half-way through the day, a major mechanical malfunction occurred. ***More specific here** * Luckily, I had the expertise necessary to repair the ______. Later, I returned to the shop, where Tom, my boss, screamed, " ____!" Had he not understood that I had saved him hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars, by making the on-site repair?
Similar episodes occurred during my short stay at the company. Tom's first response to any situation: blame the operator. Instead of hammering the blame into the ill-maintained, tired-out (**rusted-out?) equipment, he drove nails into his workers. Soon thereafter, I quit, as I worried for my safety and those around me.
**** Did you keep up your equipment knowledge? How did you get over Tom's insults and land a new job? ****
Sometimes the informal conversations you have with bosses or peers are the worst.
