Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

On narrowing the generation gap between parents and children-academic writing


Mr Baniu 1 / 5 1  
Jul 8, 2015   #1
Hey guys! I'm new to the website which I found two days ago and I really find it a great platform to revise writings and interact with other users. Now I'm preparing for an English exam for graduate school entrance and it requires the ability to write well. I hope in the next few months I can get better in writing with all of you!

Prompt:
According to a study conducted by China Population Communication Center, 75% of high school students in China admitted that they found it difficult to talk with their parents. As a college student, what measures would you recommend to bridge the widening generation gap?

Narrowing the Generation Gap
It is undoubtedly that generation gap has become a hot issue in today's society. According to a survey, the majority of high school students find it difficult to talk with their parents. Generation gap, if not dealt with correctly, is certainly to become a hindrance to harmony in household. In my opinion, raising mutual understanding is the key step to narrow the widening generation gap, and it requires joint effort of children and parents.

First of all, children need to be more open to communicate with their parents. New generation always has different opinions and understandings of the world which may cause confusion and opposition from the older generation who are usually slow to the changes happening around the world. Having said that, it is impossible for both sides not to have common topics. As the old saying goes, blood is thicker than water. Family's love can and will break the temporary misunderstanding which can be erased through effective and tactical daily communication. Therefore, children, instead of concealing their feelings, they should try to talk to parents as much as they can on a wide range of issues which they think are discussion welcome, from events in school to daily news, from personal challenges to family matters, these are all topics which can be discussed with parents and that will eventually improve the understanding between the two parties as kids are now aware of the way parents look at the world and give opinions.

As for parents, most importantly, they need to get off their high horses first. Many kids refuse to talk about their experience with their parents who are always criticizing. Sometimes criticism is negative to kids' development in that it will hurt their self-esteem. Therefore, if parents are less critical, the more likely that the conversation will carry out in an atmosphere where children is willing to share. A case in point is the movie the Music Never Stopped. In this movie, conflicts frequently happen between a father and his son due to their opposing political opinions and taste of music. But as the father tries hard to repair their relationship with patience when his son is in trouble, he eventually successfully reconnects with his son. This story just demonstrates a change in attitude towards children, which involves understanding, can eliminate the estrangement in a family.

Actually, family activities could be carried out to deepen the mutual understanding between parents and children. Family picnic to a natural park, family trip, or just sitting together watching TV can be an appropriate chance to enhance relationship.

To conclude, the narrowing of generation gap should be based on mutual understanding between parents and kids through their joint effort. It will contribute to the harmonious atmosphere in family, and the happiness of each family will lead to the well-being of the whole society.

Junisha111p 11 / 21 4  
Jul 8, 2015   #2
Hi Baniu,

Welcome to the family!

But,[quote=Mr Baniu]This story just demonstrates a change in attitude towards children, which involves understanding, can eliminate the estrangement in a family.
as the father tries hard to repair their relationship with patience when his son is in trouble, he eventually successfully reconnects with his son. This story just demonstrates a change in attitude towards children, which involves understanding, can eliminate the estrangement in a family.[/quote]

where is the story?

To conclude, the narrowing of generation gap should be based on mutual understanding between parents and kids through their joint effort. It will contribute to the harmonious atmosphere in family, and the happiness of each family, will lead to the well-being of the whole society

Here, I have spotted few mistakes.

I found little connectivity issue, but overall, it is good content.

Keep Writing!

junisha111p
OP Mr Baniu 1 / 5 1  
Jul 9, 2015   #3
well, the story I'm talking about is the movie's story.
OP Mr Baniu 1 / 5 1  
Jul 9, 2015   #4
On the connectivity issue, I wonder is it a must to add comma? cause I think the subject of this sentence is already pretty clear: the happiness of each family


Home / Writing Feedback / On narrowing the generation gap between parents and children-academic writing