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Essay about National education in Hong Kong



walterbb 1 / -  
Aug 27, 2012   #1
Hello! I am a student from Hong Kong. I desperately need someone's help to improve my writing skill. Thank you!

National education, which is now treated as a 'brainwashing' demon by a large group of citizens, seems to be introduced in a harsh way, and it is not likely to be stopped even if the earth exposes. However, the resistance for the curriculum is still noticeable. Pressures from protesting, newspapers and the internet accumulate, and now even students take part in the battle.

It was repeated again and again that the syllabus given by the government was unbalanced. It fail to touch on the dark side of our country, it contradicts with the iron law of learning and thinking, which emphasis the shape of opinions and opinions supported with solid facts. Thus, we conclude that the syllabus is immature, and it isn't ready for launching now.

It is strange that our government was doing so hard for achieving their goal, there are an advisory body for it, three years of preparation periods for it, as well as they will introduce it in governmental schools next month before asking for further feedback. Is it really worth doing? People may doubt that all those actions of the government is driven by specific political reasons, say to strengthen the nationalistic ideology of Hong Kong citizens as a "response" to the "order" of Central government, this results in fear of "brainwashing" which locks people away from the truth and freedom.

There are a lot of examples of national education in other countries. Many of them are successful and logical. For now, I firmly believe that the curriculum needs a pause for further consideration before it is thrown out.

ace 5 / 65  
Sep 1, 2012   #2
If it is as you describe, it is not the right solution for the people. Without freedom and truth nothing can be achieved in the long term.
mohammmo 2 / 3  
Sep 2, 2012   #3
Not sure how to help but i'' provide you with my personal suggestions on some phrases. They are only recommendations rather than professional feedback.

National education, which is perceived as a 'brainwashing' tool by many citizens, seems to be introduced in a harsh way, and it is not likely to be stoppedeven if the earth exposes . However, the resistance for the curriculum is still noticeable. Pressures from protesting, newspapers and the internet accumulate, and now even students take part in the battle.

Think of the following related terms for your topic: authoritarian, conformity, homogenous, freedom of expression or speech, etc.

There are many criticisms that the syllabus given by the government was biased . It fails to adress the dark side of our country, it contradicts with the iron law of learning and thinking, which emphasizes the shape of opinions and opinions supported with solid facts. Thus, we conclude that the syllabus is immature, and it isn't ready for launching now.

It is strange that our government was doing so hard for achieving their goal, there are an advisory body for it, three years of preparation periods for it, as well as they will introduce it in governmental schools next month before asking for further feedback. Is it really worth doing? People may doubt that all those actions of the government is driven by specific political reasons, say to strengthen the nationalistic ideology of Hong Kong citizens as a "response" to the "order" of Central government, this results in fear of "brainwashing" which locks people away from the truth and freedom.

There are a lot of examples of national education in other countries. Many of them are successful and logical. For now, I firmly believe that the curriculum needs a pause for further consideration before it is thrown out.

you can elaborate more on the subject, work on your vocabulary, you can say how the government conforms its students for certain "agendas" that ignores the purpose of education. such form of education curtails many information from students such as the history of (you can elaborate on the ""dark side)". Such pieces of history are crucial to our culture as they help us understand the moral lessons in them (for example)

there endless way to approach the topic. don't focus on the "political agendas", you can say that such conformity denies the deiversity in students abilities and assumes they can comprehend the same material... etc


Hope it helps and again work on your vocabulary, increase your English reading habits,


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