It is true that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be funded by non government organization. While it is true, I personally believe that it is better to be financially support by the government.
Many people nowadays believe that private agencies are greater than official agencies due to their professionalism in treating customers. While the customers of private agencies are specific clients, the customers of official agencies are society in general. Because the range of official agencies clients is more wide and complex than private agencies, and also its target that is not detailed measurable, its professionalism is not very satisfying. In case, many people believe that it is better to give an opportunity to private organizations to take parts in funding national sport teams and individual athletes who represent their country in international competition. Because of the private agencies' professionalism, its finance is abundant so that it can support the athletes or teams' needed properly. In addition, it also can take advantage for supporting the athletes or teams in sport competition such as by advertising their product through the teams or athletes. Adidas for example, they can promote their product through the accessories that the athletes or team wear. In the other words, both athletes or teams and the companies also gain an advantage, kind of mutualism symbiosis.
However, that kind of symbiosis could break the independence of teams or athletes. It is undeniable that they could change their orientation: not to assist their country but for company which pay or support them. The support for some teams and athletes exclusively might damage their professionalism. Their financial and needed maybe not as good as if they are supported by private agencies, but it will keep their purpose to fight for their country. Can you imagine if the athletes is under pressure of the company which owned by foreigner? It cannot be denied that the company will put the athletes or team in order to increase their profit due to the fact that the orientation of private agencies is only profit and money. For instance, in badminton, if "Yonex" exclusively support only one athlete such as Taufik Hidayat, he might be feeling pressure if he has to compete with Japan as the country which Yonex's company located.
Hence, I prefer to the idea stated that the national sports teams and individual men or women representing their country should be financially support by the government. Indeed, their financial is not as much as if they are supported by private agencies, but it much better to keep the independence in such kind of competition. However, I suggest that the government should more aware to the heroes who fight for our country. If make an agreement with some compatible private agencies can improve the management system of sports' athletes and teams, let's give it a try. My focus is not to wipe off private's agencies' roles, but strengthen the role of government. Government should formulate some policy to improve our financial sponsor in sport to keep the independence of the athlete and teams.
i suggest you to put the task and paraphrase it. and i just found some mistakes of grammar
I personally believe that it is better to be financially
supportsupported by the government.
Because the range of official agencies clients is
more widewider and more complex than private agencies, and also its target that it is not detailed measurable, its professionalism is not very satisfying.
Because of the private agencies' professionalism, its finance is abundant so
that it can support the athletes or teams' needed properly.
Some people believe that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. Others think they should be funded by non-government organizations (business, scholarship).
[Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476
This essay contains over 500 words. Also, make sure that you write it in 40 minutes.
It is hard to measure this writing as it adds no task. In IELTS, you are offered a task: agree/ disagree, discuss both views, problems and solutions, etc..