Certain countries, especially countries in asia, rely on the revenue generated by wildlife tourism to run economies.
... actually, this is better termed as "echo tourism" which is based on supporting conservation efforts of tourism. This is actually a win win situation for economies and environment.
Thanks for correcting the grammar. I'd also like to know if the essay suffers from any unimportant or out-of-topic content.
Well... I don't find they go out of topic, but you certainly have much more potential to align them better with your argument.
For example,
And my third point is: Wilderness areas can provide a huge source of tourism revenue. Certain countries, especially countries in asiaAsia , rely on the revenue generated by wildlife tourism to run economies. Now, clearing out such area could possibly reduce such revenue on a considerable scale. Now, it can be argued that the development that follows may cover and exceed tourism revenues. The answer to this is,There is no guarantee that the development would guarantee the cover-up of such lossess, and thus there would be no such problems. The ability of the development may be affected by various factors.
Here you need to connect all these ideas with your argument better. They seem to be scattered a bit sporadically; Your point here is that nations can generate income by engaging in echo tourism and therefore they need to make an effort to protect the nature. So, these laws are helpful for them.