The environment is changing at an accelerating speed. This is reflected in the fact that natural resources are increasingly consumed by people. Such situation can lead to many consequences and some actions must be taken to address these issues.
The increase in consumption of the world natural resources can have negative impacts on lives of humans and other living creatures. Firstly, people have long relied on natural resources to meet their needs. The fast consumption of these resources is likely to cause serious conflicts among countries because of such issues as the dearth of coals, petrol, fuel. If wars occur around the Earth, lives of countless people will undoubtedly be lost. Furthermore, other animals are negatively affected. Many fish species, for example, are on the verge of extinction because people use modern equipment to catch a great number of fish irrespective of their sizes. This means that young fish have little chance of reaching adult stage when fish can reproduce back. Therefore, lives of people and many species would be in danger due to the overconsumption of natural resources.
Nevertheless, there are some viable solutions to limit the negative effects of such event. It is vital that governments world-wide make full use of renewable energy sources, for instance, solar, hydroelectric powers. This measure can significantly reduce the human reliance on non-renewable energy. In addition, the government should introduce laws that require fishermen to catch adult fish only and return baby fish into the wild nature. Withs this legislation, the number of fish is likely to increase significantly enough to accommodate the rising needs of people around the globe.
To sum up, the rapid consumption of natural resources can threaten lives of not only people but also other animals on the planet. These issues can be addressed if governments attempt to invest in utilizing renewable energy and implementing laws that boost the reproduction of animals in general.
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Be conscious of your word count. While writing more than 300 words is admirable, it shows fast you can type, it doesn't necessarily translate into a good score for you. In this particular presentation, you have problems with the C&C scoring section along with the LR section of the presentation. In the LR section, you need to understand that in this type of discussion, adjectives that can add impact to your presentation can help increase the clarity and cohesiveness of your presentation. To further add to your sentence clarity, use simpler words whenever possible. While you do use somewhat advanced English word references, these words do not feel natural in the sentence. It looks more like you are trying to impress the examiner rather than actually aiming to simply make the sentence understandable. In some sentences such as:
YV: This is reflected in the fact that natural resources are increasingly consumed by people
BB: ... people increasingly consumes natural resources
Indicating who the is doing the action is important to that the reader because it will indicate who or what you are referring to.
You need to review your plural rules:
is likely - are likely
Your paragraphs should only contain one topic per paragraph reference for clarity purposes. It is the unrelated discussions in the same paragraphs that make your discussion non-cohesive. You have to present the second topic in a separate paragraph. If you review the first reasoning paragraph, you will see that you have over written the information. Once an essay has more than 1 topic per presentation, the reader will find it difficult to follow the flow of thought and understand what the actual point of the discussion is.
Always use 3-5 sentences per paragraph for clarity and GRA purposes. Your concluding sentence is a run on. It has to be separated into individual sentences. Again, if you do not show that you are capable of writing proper English sentences, your GRA score will be greatly affected. Use the opportunity to highlight your usage of other punctuation marks as well. Just to show that you know how to create complex and simple sentences in a balanced manner, within the same paragraph.