IELTS: Nature or nurture is more influential in children education?

Hi guys. Could anyone check my essay? Thank in advance.

Topic: Nature or nurture, which is more influential in children education? Give your own opinion

People have different views about whether our personality and development are affected by inherited characteristics more than by environment. While there are many convincing argument in favour of genetic factors, I would have to support the idea that individual's development depends on surrounding environment.

It is true that our personalities are determined by genetics to some extent. We inherit our abilities from parents. Many great artists as well as musicians belong to families who have the same skills they possess. Besides, A few individuals were born with innate talent. Take Leonado Da Vinci as an example. He is a totem of the supernaturally gifted individual that few historical and cultural figures can compete with. If it is not because of nature, everyone can be trained to become "the second Da Vinci".

On the other hand, people need to be nurtured to reach their potential. Education and upbringing are quintessential elements for development. For instance, children who are exposed to violence tend to become criminals while people who live in a good nurture often become good citizens. Another factor that can affect our personalities is mindset. Take Cristiano Ronaldo as an example. Ronaldo was not an innate talent like Rooney and he was taunted by the media and fans in his first years at United, then he set out to prove them wrong. He ultimately became the best because his mindset worked harder than anyone else.

In conclusion, I would argue that either nature or nurture is the major influence on a person. It is the interaction of two aspects that shape s person's personality.

People have different views about whether our personality and development are affected by inherited characteristics or themore than by environment.

This is not a bad intro.

You take this stance. So, keep your writing to support your side and do not talk in favor of the other side of the argument. The only time you should discuss both ideas is only when you take a moderate stance. Remember, this task is time bound and therefore you need to follow a specific structure to manage time well.

I'm not sure if this is directly related to children's education as the topic requires.


were born into a family of talent/were born into a family whose members possess similar talent


In this sentence, you state that you favor the role of nurture in the development. However, this is not aligned with your conclusion where you said that both nature and nurture are equally important.

We inherit certain characteristics and our abilitiesskills from our parents.
Many great artists as well as musicians belong tocome from families who have the same skills they possess.that are with such artistic backgrounds.

On the other hand, people need to benurturedtraining to reach their fullest potential.