TOEFL: Do you agree or disagree, teachers should be paid according to the progress of the student?
Some believe that, teachers should be paid according to the progress of the student while other disagree. Personally, I believe teachers should not be paid according to the progress of the student, as each students are different from the other, some take considerable time to grasp the subject matter, it might create conflict between the teachers and low economic status students might be deprived of quality education.
First of all, some students are intelligent and they can perform better than other students. Therefore, they are faster in grasping the subject matter more quickly than other students. For example, half of the class might have already understood the subject where as the rest of the students might not have even understood the basics. Some students would take a longer time to grasp and would be slow to produce the teacher's expected result.
Secondly, the teachers who are paid high can be bossy to the teachers who are averagely paid. Other teachers might take this as a competition and they might pressure students to perform well so that their pay can be increased as well which might mentally disturb the student.
In addition, paying the teacher more as per the progress of the student means taking more tuition fee from the students. some of the upper economic status students might not have any problem with this as they are capable of paying the increased tuition fee but low economic status students might be forced to discontinue their education and look for alternatives. For example, if a student is good at his studies but he is not economically stable and with the increased fee he is forced to quit his current institution and look for alternative, here the institute lose a bright student and the student might not find quality education as he was getting.
Finally, I believe it is not necessary to attach the teacher's payment to the student's learning capacity because the teacher who is good at what he is doing will get enough opportunity to earn more money. So I strongly disagree that teachers should be paid according to the progress of the student.
Bidhan, welcome to EssayForum :) In the detailed descriptions below are my contributions towards your essay. I hope you can follow through the feedback given in order to improve your writing skill for the next practice.
1st paragraph:
- Personally, I believe teachers should notdisagree if teachers should be paid according to the progress of the student, as each students are different from the other due to some of them take considerable time to grasp the subject matter. (stop right here, create a new sentence)Thisit might create conflict between the teachers, and low economic status students might be deprived oftheir quality of education. (I have no idea why so many IELTS candidates are using long-but-inaccurate sentence. This is not suggested at all. You need to consider what IELTS writing band descriptors said "attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences" You can get only 5.0 in your grammatical range and accuracy part)
2nd paragraph:
- ThereforeThus , they are faster in grasping the subject matter.. (Therefore is usually used in the last part of a paragraph)
- ...might have already understood the subject where aswhereas the rest of the...
3rd paragraph:
- ...the teachers who are paid highreceived a higher payment can be bossy to the teachers who are averagely paidobtain average salary .
- ...that their payment can be increased...
4th paragraph:
- Some of the upper economic statuswealthy students... (mind the capitalization)
- ...but low economic status students with low financial condition might be forced to discontinue...
- if a student is good at his studiesstudy but he is not economicallyhis economic condition is unstable(it is better to use Unstable rather than not stable. This will enhance your lexical resource score)
5th paragraph:
- FinallyIn conclusion , I believe it is not necessaryunnecessary to.. (As I've said before, playing word formation can boost your lexical score. However, 'finally' is different from conclusion, be careful.)
Hi Bidhan, I would like to contribute in the enhancement of your essay.
I focused on the last 2 paragraphs of the essay as I believe this is where you need the most help.
- takingimposing more tuition
- upper economic statusclass students
- but the lower classeconomic status
- students might be forced
- to discontinuestop their education
- stable and, with the increased
- fee he is forced to quit his current institution and look for alternativestudies
- hereand the institute lose
- a bright student,andlater on, the student
- might not find quality education as he was getting .
- to attachbase the teacher's payment
- SoTherefore, I strongly disagree that teachers
There you have it Bidhan, I hope the corrections are useful towards the revision of your essay and while you're at it, make sure to consider the language rules such as subject verb agreement as well as avoiding the use of the same words or phrases throughout the essay.
