It is necessary for children to learn both local and foreign literature

Please review my Ielts essay. Thank you very much!
Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries.

Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, teaching literature for children is a topic of interest that often divides opinion. While many people claim that children should be taught the local literarture instead of foreign literature, I believe that both types of literature play a crucial role in educating children.

On the one hand, national written works give learners a great deal of benefits. To begin with, learning locally written works would help children understand and treasure culture of their country. When students learn literature from local resources, they have the opportunity to become familiar with their own traditional, historical heriatges and national values which has been passed down from generation to generation. Take Thanh Giong, which is one of Vietnamese tales helps students know more about the period fight against foreign invaders. As a result, they could natuarally develop a sense of national identity and patriotism as well as be aware of their own responsibilty in developing their country. Furthermore, learning local literarture helps children enrich their linguistic knowledge in using their mother tongue and gives children ways to use their own language such as articulation, flexibility in using the vocabulary as well as improve their social communication.

On the other hand, studying foreign literature is also beneficial for students. Firstly, students will have a better overview of the world if they learn foreign literature and it brings students opportunities to exposure to cultures of other countries. For example, when reading The little Match-girl, the images of turkey, Christmas tree and candles bring students the image of atmosphere at Christmas night. Therefore, they would expand their horizons about exciting cultures all over the world. Secondly, it is an opportunity to prepare for children's ability to integrate into the outside world in order to avoid culture shock when studying and working with foreigners because it is necessary for children to develop in this era globalization.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that it is necessary for children to learn both local and foreign literature that help them develop comprehensively.

Just some suggestions:
- you have repeated words which is likely to lower your score: children, help, give
- spelling mistake: heriatges
- I think you should add 'as an example' after 'Take Thanh Giong' so we know that you are presenting an example to support your idea.

Hello! This is your first essay but in my opinion, it's quite good. The essay shows that you have a logical thinking, the way you used phrase verbs and analysed your example is very clear.

There are still some dictation mistakes you should notice and repeated words problem is obvious: from generation to generation=> from generation to another one. especially, when the words that were repeated are subjects, you completely alter the same meaning words such as they, it, the... or objects as them, her, him

Furthermore, ... and gives children ways to use...

You did not respond to the question being asked. You changed the discussion requirements, resulting in a prompt deviation. You only have 2 choices in this essay. Either you agree or disagree. Since this is not an "extent" essay, you cannot use a middle ground response. You can only choose between the provided response choices. The clarity of your opinion will be based upon how well you explain your support of one of the given discussion responses. When you do a comparative essay response where none is required, your essay will not deliver a response related to the given discussion. That could result in a lower than expected score for your essay.