Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The necessity of schooling children - who should be the most responsible for this task?

farmtus 1 / 1  
Oct 30, 2021   #1

Who should be responsible for teaching children to be good citizens, parents or school?

There is a spreading belief that children ought to be taught to be socially well-mannered individuals by their parents; however, others hold that children should learn this at school. From my perspective, both are the key factors to their development into model persons, or not. The reasons why I say so will be outlined below.

As regards the role of parents in educating their offspring, it is indispensable. The way parents behave can directly affect the child's behaviour and cognition. If parents treat their children properly, such as paying attention to their kids, being willing to lend a sympathetic ear to their kids' stories,etc., the children will be much better mentally-behaved compared to those not living in such a positive growing environment. For instance, the majority of homeless children or ones having apathetic parents often commit crime because of their lack of care and education from their family. Therefore, that parents deal with their children properly is undisputedly necessary to let them know how to become a good person.

In the meanwhile, we cannot deny the necessity of schooling. Children generally spend from a quarter to a third of their time studying at school. Besides, we all know that the surrounding environment is the biggest contribution to personality formation. That is the reason why school has an enormous impact on the model of a citizen a child will become. If a child has caring and supportive teachers and several healthy relationships, they will have someone to talk to and share their problems with in addition to their parents, and also someone who can protect them from bullying, which is such a commonplace phenomenon in school nowadays. Moreover, school can be considered the best place to broaden children's horizons, especially in academic aspects. The better academic performance the children have, the better job opportunities they will be given. To be a socially well-behaved citizen, one must have both morality and knowledge.

In conclusion, although there are people thinking parents play the main role in making their offspring exemplary citizens, while some others believe in school being the one taking this responsibility, I assume that both are all necessary in their own ways, with priority given to neither of the two views.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,000 3875  
Oct 31, 2021   #2
both are the key factors

Though both are key factors. the response asks you to choose and defend only one side. Note the use of the word "or" to indicate a single opinion choice. While,the restatement is accurate the lack of a clear opinion based on the choice requirement will be scored down. next time, pick one side to use unless asked to discuss both views and give an opinion.


Etc. is a non- academic word. That is used only in casual writing, not in formal writing .

I assume

clear evidence that you do not have a clear opinion. Hence the positionless discussion. It will be difficult to say if this will be scored in any way as the discussion requirements were not met by the writer.
OP farmtus 1 / 1  
Oct 31, 2021   #3
Sorry but the question was "Discuss both views and give your own opinion". Because there is a limit for the number of words in question, so I didn't put the question in it. Sorry, my bad :((

Home / Writing Feedback / The necessity of schooling children - who should be the most responsible for this task?