Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

toefl -- needed land / protecting environment


Jin 11 / 37  
Sep 19, 2009   #1
Q: In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry?

The concept of protecting environment is gradually aroused wild public concern in China and the government has already taken action to do so. However, there is still more need for land be left in its natural condition in terms of trees, food and climate.

We need more natural lands because we more trees to protect our country from drought. As we all know, trees can avoid the water flowing away, and they can also create the oxygen we need every day. However, according to a reported, 80% of the original natural land has become farm land in the late 70's, which is the result of over cutting. At first, only some farmers cut down trees to plant their crops in order to feed their family. While, as these farmers realized that plant additional crops would offer them more profits, they started to cut amount of trees down. Even though there is a remarkable improvement since Chinese government carried out the policy of returning farm land back to forest, not all of them can be return to the condition they had been.

Besides, we need rich lands because we need food. The action of 70's farmers did has made the permanent harm to land as tremendous elements has gone once the original land is forced to turn into the farm field. However, not all the original land can be used for farming, certain number of which cannot be used, so they finally become the waste land. With the expanding of the scale of waste land, many field lands are affected by reducing the production and producing the low-quality crops.

Also, protecting the climate is also one of the reasons to need natural lands. In every rural parts of China, there exist a lot of factories, especially the chemical factories, which produce a plenty of waste water and gas. Instead of recycling, these factories poured the water into the river, which lower the quality of water In China as well as that of air, as a consequence, aggravate the climate of the whole country.

To sum up, from a sustainable perspective, more natural land is needed in China. Only in this way can keep the balance of environment.

EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Sep 19, 2009   #2
Not bad for a TOEFL essay. You have a clear thesis, three arguments, some grammatical errors but not so many as to make your meaning unclear.

Besides, we need rich lands because we need food.

Not sure about your logic here, though. Even if it is true that not all clear-cut land is suitable for farmland, and that the processes you describe adversely affect farming in the long run, it still doesn't mean that the land should be left in its "natural" state, in which it can be expected to produce very little food compared to cultivated land.
OP Jin 11 / 37  
Sep 20, 2009   #3
EF_Sean

is it better?

With the expanding of the scale of waste land, many field lands are affected by reducing the production and producing the low-quality crops, plenty of which is the original field lands.

thanks!!!!
thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Sep 20, 2009   #4
We need more natural land(s) because we (need) more trees to protect our country from drought. As (far as ) we all know, (trees can avoid the water flowing away) i dont understand this sentence., and they can also create the oxygen we need every day. However, according to a report(ed), 80% of the original/virgin natural land has become farm land in the late 70's, which is the result (not of) in over cutting. At first, only some farmers cut down trees to plant their crops in order to feed their family. While, as these farmers realized that (not plant)planting additional crops would offer them more profits, they started to cut amount of trees down. Even though there ( not is) has been a remarkable improvement since Chinese government carried out the policy of returning farm land back to forest, not all of them can be return to the condition they had bee
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Sep 20, 2009   #5
I can't help but notice that many of your comments on other people's threads have been a bit brief recently . . .


Home / Writing Feedback / toefl -- needed land / protecting environment