In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Global fast foods have replaced traditional diets in some countries and it can influence both families and communities in negative way. I extremely believe that this developing is harmful for inhabitants who consume it.
Fast food can affect traditional foods' sustainability as it can be served rapidly, so it is very suitable for busy society, and it have great taste also. Office worker who have short of time will tend to choose fast foods rather than traditional foods. In addition, they will provide their children with it too as they don't have much time to cook for them. As a result, it become habit for adult to consume fast diets, and kids who always be served it by their parents will be addicted as it has great taste and unique appearance also. It is evidence that traditional diets sustainability is threated by fast foods as people barely consume the traditional one.
Furthermore, people have unhealthy lifestyle as they consume fast foods frequently. Fast diets are made by less fresh material and also contain huge number of salt which can bind fat and cause hypertension. Moreover, unhealthy cook method can cause many negative substance inside the diets. Also, besides the material, those are made by less fresh oil. As a consequence, many health problem can be affected by those to consumers such as obesity, and heart attack since it contains lots of cholesterol. It is clear that fast foods cause many health problem to inhabitants.
To conclude, people will have many dangerous illness as they often consume fast foods. However, it will not cause problem to consumers' health only, but also traditional culinary existence since people tend to choose instant diets than the traditional.
Hallo Mr. Yonathan, I have read your essay.
Let me give my opinion about your writing :
Please correct me if I am wrong
Your Introduction :
Global fast foods have replaced traditional diets in some countries and it can influence both families and communities in negative way. I extremely believe that this developing is harmful for inhabitants who consume it.
My suggestion :
Global fast foods have replaced traditional diets in some countries and it can influence both families and communities in negative way. Although junk foods are quick to be served and suitable for busy worker(use this sentence to support your first paragraph) , I extremely believe that this developing is harmful for inhabitants who consume it. I suggest to the government for organizing this problem by regulation about fast food quality control.(you can mention suggestion in introduction)
Hello Mr. Yonathan. You have a great essay. Let me give suggestion for your essay
Please correct me, if I am wrong
I try to paraphrase your introduction for your consideration. Here is my suggestion :
Global fast foods have replaced traditional diets ...
Over time, global fast foods have become popular for a plenty of people in several countries (HOOK). As such, it has replaced traditional diets and it have brought a plenty of negative effects on both families and communities. However, I extremely believe that this developing will be vey detrimental to inhabitant's lives.
Thank you :)
Global fast foods have replaced traditional diets in some countries and it can influence both families and communities in negative way.
... so it is very suitable for busy society, and it have great taste also. Office worker who have short of time will tend ...
As a result, it become habit for adult to consume fast diets...
It is evidence that traditional diets sustainability is threated by fast foods as people ...
Hi, I would like to share several correction toward your essay.
I think it would be better if you write it like this.
have been replacing
has a..
the office workers...
becomes..
threatened..
Fast food can affect traditional foods' sustainability as it ...
my alternative second paragraph is:
society tend to prefer fast food than traditional cuisine. this is because modern society tend to be busy and have little time to eat, so the fast food into the most suitable alternative. Unfortunately, the children also tend to eat fast food because their parents do not have time to cook. This proves that fast food threatens the sustainability of traditional foods.
