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Negative experiences and priceless lessons (My first SAT essay)


hvnguyen1311 4 / 8  
Mar 19, 2012   #1
Assignment: Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Success is not a spontaneous combustion. You will not succeed unless you make any efforts. Hence, is it essential if we relinquish thinking of experiences which ameliorated us in a true way? No matter how hard your memories were, it should be perhaps a big motivation for anyone to achieve the next ladder of success! Occasionally, people avoid coping with what they did wrong! Notwithstanding, they do not recognize that each failure is properly a stable step to success!

For everyone, a failure is inevitable. We should learn how to overcome it instead of running it away. Steve Jobs, who is best known for his incredible Apple Inc., stood on all his own mistakes . He has played a pivotal role in building up an enormous Apple and creating the smart-portable devices ' generation like IPhone and IPad . Nobody nevertheless counted how many mistakes he made before succeeding in Apple. He never graduated from any colleges, he dropped out Reed College after enrolling only 6 months due to his lack of money. Hence, he spent several years in the first Apple on struggling to design a competitive product before being fired due to his unsuccessful achievements. All of them seemed to trip up an ambitious man like Steve Jobs. However, he already proved that nothing can prevent him from being successful. He collaborated with Pixar and Disney, consolidated them to be the most well-known film-makers in the world. Those took him to return Apple and made him one of the most talented CEOs today.

To my mind, what you have experienced not only matures you, but also provides you with skills and knowledge. Your experiences can sometimes be used as a reference or even "a key" to solve your problem. At the age of thirteen, I was exasperated that I got a rejection from a Singapore scholarship. At that moment, I did endeavour to contribute all of my efforts, to no avail, that I would be able to study abroad. Subsequently, I despaired of doing everything until I recovered and perceived that "Every cloud has a silver lining". I made a decision to challenge myself in the next opportunities. Eventually, I overcame one of the worst moments in my life and then I fortunately realize that no matter how good it will become, just give it your best try, you are the winner!

Substantially, everything always has pros and cons. It will lead to a true path to success, albeit good or bad memories. Negative experiences will be obviously priceless lessons under any circumstances. On the other hand, it should be somewhat big motivations if you experience positively. All of them are enormous motivations whereby you can be "lifted" to brighter ladder of success.
chalumeau /  
Mar 19, 2012   #2
Here's a little revision of your paragraphs.

If I had to grade the essay it would be difficult. I realize that your
ideas are closer to a 5, but the grammar is closer to a 2 or 3. The SAT
board does not provide an example similar to the one you submitted.
If I had to pick a number, I would guess 3.

I suppose you've already seen the board website, so I won't suggest you
look there.



OP hvnguyen1311 4 / 8  
Mar 20, 2012   #3
Thanks so much for your meticulous revision ! It should be somehow helpful for an apprentice like me !


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