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New announcements from our president

Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Sep 28, 2014   #1
It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why?
Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Personally, I totally oppose with the upcoming plan of new construction. I consider it is a little bit useless for the majority of people, since eating in restaurant can be really expensive. Moreover, it would disturb our daily activities at home such as works because of the noises.

First and foremost, in terms of expenses, Not many people in our neighborhood can spend that much of money for the meals in restaurant because of our lack of salary. Most of us are underprivileged. Furthermore, a large group of people who are living with me know how to cook properly really well, and restaurant might not provide us with the taste that we used to eat. By way of an illustration, I can recall myself eating in the restaurant. Unfortunately, there was no meal ,which can be substituted the delicacies that my mom usually does for me. Also, ironically it ended up with a huge bill.

On the other side of the coin, Numerous neighborhoods must agree with me. It is going to be really noisy outside because of the customers and clients of the restaurant. In the other words it would mar our peaceful atmosphere. For instance. I can envision myself an old guy, who is living next to me reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee simultaneously. Then dozens of people are going to be screaming, talking, indulging in the restaurant and outside of the restaurant. Thus, it is pretty uncomfortable and awkward. As for me and many other human being on this planet, we need to do tremendous researches and assigments of our company. Consequently, me and my neighborhood requires some peaceful environment in order to finalize our job or relishing the nature of the earth.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I strongly disagree with the forthcoming plan of a new restaurant due to our salary and cooking skills. But, most importantly, those noises that we are about to suffer.

Any tough advice would be appreciated and liked ;D
12nikki12 2 / 5 1  
Sep 28, 2014   #2
You are restricting the argument to yourself. This makes you sound self- obsessed and inconsiderate, even if you are not. Think more about how others in the neighborhood would benefit or lose from the new restaurant. You have mentioned noisiness which would apply to the whole neighborhood, but I think you could elaborate more on that, and then relate it to yourself. For example-

The construction of the restaurant would mar the peaceful atmosphere of our neighborhood. I imagine that old Mr. Brown and his wife next door wouldn't be too happy with the noise. Personally, I cannot concentrate when there's noise and I know that the quality of my homework would suffer. I've talked to my friends across the street and they feel the same ...

See what I mean? I'm not saying that my example is the best example and i'm not suggesting that you should use it. But the prompt says you should use specific examples and concrete details; act as though a restaurant is actually being built in your neighborhood. Keep in mind the atmosphere of your neighborhood and the nature of the people who live there, as well as yourself.

Ominous1337 3 / 5  
Sep 29, 2014   #3
It would help your argument if you provided a counter-argument. Like, "However, you may believe..." and then prove it wrong.
nosha 1 / 2  
Sep 30, 2014   #4
I think your introduction should be general for example talk about construction how it gonna be noisy and then it will be specific according to question. and also you should have three supportive sentences. just you need organization your idea overall is great

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