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New buildings - The maps below show village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010


Diahkn93 6 / 9  
Mar 27, 2017   #1

1930 vs 2010 in some town



The maps represent of the small print at same city with two difference years. The first map interpret city in year 1930 and in another hand in 2010. For entire 8 periods Stokeford city had developed.

In 1930, farmland had taken over partly of areas which filled in northern and southern areas. Many building such as a shop beside post office and large house settled at far of eastern area of post office. Time by time in 2010 witnessed a dramatic metamorphosis in the number of farmland areas eventually turned over by house in great quantities.

They also eliminate the store and constructed the new buildings such as the expanded primary school and on the south side of the elementary school big house turned into a retirement home. Along with the development of many cities Stokeford has built a new service that allows easy access to the buildings they are made.




restuanlubis 4 / 7  
Mar 27, 2017   #2
@Diahkn93
Hi dear, your essay constructed very solid insight and but you need more pay attention into grammatical range and accuracy.

the first paragraph.
"The maps represent of the small ..." ----- there is no verb in this sentence.
It should be "The maps represent the small print at same city with two difference in years"
Also,
The first map interpret city in year 1930 "The first map interprets city in year 1930" since subject is singular.

The second paragraph.
You have to constantly use same tenses. If you use past perfect, you should use same tenses in the next sentence.
".. and large house settled at far of eastern area.." ---> "...and large house had settled at far of eastern area..."
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Mar 27, 2017   #3
Diah, excellent work in presenting an original take on the illustrations other than simply stating the mechanically obvious information. Your presentation shows that you analyzed the information provided and did your best to compare points of similarity and difference between the time periods. One question though, what did you mean by 8 periods in the first paragraph? If you meant to cover a period of 80 years then you should have said "80 years" or "8 generations", 8 periods is not the correct term to use in this instance as it does not make sense in the overall presentation. The excellent discussion that you delivered could garner you a score of 6 with this essay. You successfully applied your observational skills in the development of your information and presentation, which paid off in the final scoring considerations.


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