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[IELTS] The new fashion in having careers


SalMon 27 / 114 10  
Jun 22, 2014   #1
Hi everyone :) Can you guys help me with this one? It is from my IELTS book and I don't know how to approach this one properly. It only states 2 sentences and nothing more like "agree or disagree" or "discuss both sides", so I find it a bit difficult. Also I find this one quite hard to comprehend, especially the terms: "further education is something that continues throughout life". Hope you guys can help me :) Thanks beforehand :D

Topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashion one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

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Humans are never satisfied with their accomplishments. This is clearly mirrored in a continous trend towards an increase in the income. Since the notion of having only one career soon fell out of fashion, people have been making for multi-vocation life or ways to improve their salaries, which is prior to education.

As the world never stays still, a single job has started to lose its popularity. Bearing in mind that working for one employer is rewarded with considerably small earnings, people turn out to seek more jobs to make ends meet or to soothe their aspiration to higher living standards. Psychologically speaking, people are easily affected by their peers, especially colleages or neighbors, due to envy or the fear of falling behind. That is another reason why this job-hunting trend has drawn humans' attention from a sole profession.

When it comes to the simultaneous commitment in various careers or ways to earn money, people often sacrifice education as a second-ranked neccessity hence it will continue throughout their life. People have to focus on fulfilling an array of tasks in a day so as not to be sacked or penalized, therefore incompulsory studies always receive less time and attention. For example, some students want to start up their own businesses at an early age, explaining their choices in part-time studies (especially night courses) rather than full-time ones. As for the adults who are engaged in, quite often, both business and sports, they also choose to spend little time everyday to consolidat their spheres of knowledge which are not adequate because of time occupation.

In conclusion, the number of people driven by materialistic value or sense of fulfilment is today on and upward trend. This is the main cause to education delays or a lifelong piecemeal one.

MiaCuthbert 7 / 25 2  
Jun 22, 2014   #2
people turn out to seek for more jobs to make ends meet or to soothe their aspiration to higher living standards

colleages ==> colleagues
you're super good, honestly :D
hillard214james 2 / 6  
Jun 22, 2014   #3
Hi salMon,
It is indeed quite tricky on how to attack the question since it did not ask anything (agree or disagree/ discuss both views and state your opinion). I commend your ideas and wide range of vocabulary. The construction of sentences is well-organized with appropriate usage of words. However, be careful of some misspelled words which i thought you may have just overlooked upon.(consolidat--consolidate, fulfilment--fulfillment, colleages--colleagues). Also, you have adequately stated the pros and cons of both sides of the argument, but i think it would be better if you have stated a clear stand at the end just to be sure every issue is addressed.

Overall, i admire the representation of your writing and i would have rated it between 8.5 to 9.
Godbless.


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