Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The new phenomena in this world - the increased crime among young people in many countries


ADIE08 29 / 32 1  
Feb 3, 2016   #1
The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions

Nowadays, the new phenomena happened in many parts of this world where Juvenile delinquency is increasing significantly. It is important to know why this has happened and to look at ways to solve the problem.

The most reason is a breakdown problem in the nuclear family. Increasing of divorced in several countries is most support the youngster become a lawbreaker. For instance, as the following data from criminology at Cambridge University, Divorce significantly affects the rate of crime, in which they found that the divorce of parents before the children was aged ten was one of the major predictors of adolescent delinquency and adult criminality. Moreover, there is real indicating the high rate of criminality in society caused by environment and society. Base on Serious Youth Crime organization, the geographic is supporting the concentration of crime occurs at various levels, which is generally due to basic problems such as poverty and high unemployment. Poor family ties, lack of proper supervision, Lack of parental connection force minors to associate more time with their peers thus increasing their chances of receiving wrong information from the environment that lead them into committing delinquent activities.

The methods to reduce the lawbreaker on teenager are Education. It plays a very significant role in molding young people into responsible and law abiding adults. Education-based programs provide both parents and children with the right information and thus influencing their decision. These programs educate young people about drugs, sexuality gangs, and weapons. This information helps them understand the consequences of their delinquent actions. These programs are more successful in reducing juvenile delinquency since they target the young people in their early stages of life.

To sum up, the major reason for crime rate grow on adolescent are the divorce of their parents in which the teenager get less attention from their parents. Moreover, lack of proper knowledge of the surrounding environment encourages crime rate in adolescents. To overcome the lawbreaker on a teenager with education in which right information and the impact on the future of young people.

angga93 42 / 74 20  
Feb 3, 2016   #2
Hello Adie, you have some interesting ideas written in this essay and the flow is easy to follow. Unfortunately, your thesis statement not enough to represent what you will describe in your essay. It will be good to mention the essence of your body paragraphs so that the reader can easily imagine what the content is.

Increasing (The increase ) of divorced (suggestion: divorce rate ) in several countries is most support (this word choice has a positive meaning, try to find another ) the youngster become a lawbreaker

Based on Serious Youth Crime organization,

This information helps them to understand the consequences

the major reason for crime rate grow (growth) on adolescent are

I also find some capital letters which is used in the wrong places
mita23 34 / 37 3  
Feb 27, 2016   #3
Hy Adie. let me give you some suggestions.

1. Nowadays, the new phenomena has happened in many parts ...

2. It is important to know why this has happened and to look at wayscan happen and how to solve the problem.

3. The mostmain reason is a breakdown problem in the nuclear family.

4. Increasing of divorced in several countries is most support the youngster become a lawbreaker .
The high number of divorce can ignite youngster to be lawbreaker.

5. For instance, as the following data from criminology (...) that the divorce of parents which occurs before the children was aged ten was one of the ...

thank you


Home / Writing Feedback / The new phenomena in this world - the increased crime among young people in many countries