A new recreational facility in Tusk - GRE writing task: Argument Essay

the new facilities in Tusk university

"Tusk university should build a new recreational facility, both to attract new students and to better serve the needs of our current student body. Tusk projects that enrollment will double over the next 10 years, based on current trends. The new school body is expected to reflect a much higher percentage of commuter students than we currently enroll. This will make the existing facilities inadequate. Moreover, the cost of health and recreation club membership in our community has increased rapidly in recent years. Thus, students will find it much more advantageous to make use of the facilities on campus. Finally, an attractive new recreation center would make prospective students, especially athletically gifted ones, more likely to enroll at Tusk"

Write a response that examines this argument's unstated assumptions. Make sure you explain how
this argument depends on those assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions are
wrong.

The argument that Tusk university should build a new recreational facility to attract new students and better serve current ones as a result of projections about probable increase in enrollment due to current trends sounds true and valid at first glance. However, on critical evaluation, it appears the suggestion lacks evidence of substance.

The writer suggests that Tusk should build a new facility to better serve current students but stops short at providing evidence that the student body really needs the facility. Evidence has not been provided to suggest that an opinion poll has been conducted to know the students' needs. What if their need is a better management of the existing facility? A new library perhaps? First knowing their pulse about the issue would have been a better idea. Moreover, it would account to waste of valuable resources if the projection that enrollment would increase based on current trends were wrong.

The writer assumes that the new facilities would encourage athletically gifted students to opt for Tusk ahead of other universities. However, she failed to provide evidence to prove that neighbouring universities lack these facilities. She did not investigate if neighbouring universities have Olympic standard recreation facility capable of crippling those at Tusk.

The claim that cost of recreation and health clubs would better make Tusk facility advantageous to students lack concrete evidence, as she failed to report that students patronise these health clubs.

(Truncated by time constraint. Stopped​ when the 30 minute alloted ran out. Kindly review and state your observations)

@Hidy

Dear Hidy,

Try to use more punctuation, the first sentence is too long that I was lost and could not get the idea!

Sodiq, basing the result of your work on the 30 minute time constraint, I am confident that you can get a score of 4 with this essay. You could have gotten a 5 or higher if you had enough time to do extra editing work on the essay that you developed. That is not a bad score considering that you were able to cover most of the important discussions of the implied reasons within the previous essay. I would like to advise you not to use questions in your essay because the presentation of questions implies that you will be delivering a response to those questions. The essay prompt should be more than enough to help you create a pointed discussion in your essay. If you place your own questions and have to respond to it in order to keep the flow going, you will end up changing the overall discussion. So, to avoid and down scoring on your part, just stick to the given discussion sans any questions on your part.