IELTS wrtitng task 2 -
New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Undoubtedly, with the advancement of new technologies, the mechanism of buying and selling have evolved. But the question is, to what extent is it transforming the lives of consumers? In my opinion, I agree that the modern-day consumer is radically impacted by this new era of online trading of goods. Not only this allows consumer to save lots of time and is trustworthy, but also provides an job opportunities to skilled people and to path to be entrepreneur. I will amplify this argument by using some suitable examples before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
To begin with, today's consumer is living a hectic and time quenched lifestyle, where every minute is imperative. Some of the tech giants with new technologies have produced a platform for buyer and sellers to be able to trade seamlessly in few minutes, which could have taken up to hours incase of traditional shopping where buyer have to physically meet the seller. Additionally, some of these websites take the responsibility of background verification of seller, so that buyer can trust the seller and transaction can occur with 100% customer satisfaction.
For example, Websites like ebay and Amazon allows anyone to opt to be a seller, and people can buy products and services in a single click with utmost amazon guarantee.
Furthermore, these kind of online shopping portals empower people to start a business without taking care of legal formalities and warehouse/shipping expense. Anyone can choose to start selling on these website, and if they are have a quality product/service and they are putting it at a reasonable price, they can earn 5-star rating and excellent reviews by consumers which not only accentuate the brand-value, but help gaining customers confidence. For example, 'available at home on demand' service model adopted by a company called 'Urban clap', opened more than 2000 jobs of women beauticians to work with them. Another example is of Mr. Satya who started with selling silk dress on Amazon.com and now hiss brand 'Smith Silks' have become a popular name.
To conclude, I would say that the emerging technology and new approach for shopping and selling have clearly transformed the lives of consumers, but for the better. And with the popularity of artificial intelligence and machine learning, days won't be far away when features like auto-bargain by computer and virtually try-out of products will be provided.
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391 words is considered over writing in a task 2 essay. It shows that you are focused only on writing, but not on the clarity of the meaning you hope to provide in the discussion. It tells the examiner that you did not care about writing an essay with limited errors in the overall presentation. You hope to overcome the errors through an extremely long essay, which did the exact opposite. It forced you to make errors that you were not able to correct because you simply did not have enough time to do that due to the number of words that you wrote.
Keep it simple. No more than 5 sentences per paragraph. Give a quick and clear explanation. You are not writing an article for publication. You don't have to overdo the writing task. Just do enough to make sure that you pass the test. That is done by limiting your presentation to 275-300 words.
You did not even manage to respond properly to the question provided. This is an extent essay. So, where is the measured response? You wrote this as a simple agree or disagree essay when it should have been "to a certain extent" based on 2 reasons of your choice. There is no thesis statement included in the prompt restatement. Which is a requirement for the task completion. Simply sating you will amplify an argument with evidence doesn't tell the reviewer a summary of the upcoming discussion. So your opinion, though indicated, lacks basis.
Thanks for your feedback.
1. I totally agree with exceeded word limit comment. I will work on limiting it to 275 - 300.
2. Regarding "This is an extent essay. So, where is the measured response? You wrote this as a simple agree or disagree essay when it should have been "to a certain extent" based on 2 reasons of your choice." - > I agree on this point. Can you suggest the sentence that would have taken care of extent espect. If i would have written the second sentence as "In my opinion, I think that the modern-day consumer is extremely impacted by this new era of online trading of goods." would that have been better to show the extent aspect.
3. Regarding "There is no thesis statement included in the prompt restatement. Which is a requirement for the task completion. Simply sating you will amplify an argument with evidence doesn't tell the reviewer a summary of the upcoming discussion. So your opinion, though indicated, lacks basis." - > Can you suggest a thesis statement for this task
I highly appreciate your response.