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New technology devices and software make students can not concentrate on class

ERIC SUNG 3 / 5  
Mar 19, 2017   #1

[TOEFL] Agree or disagree? Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past

Thank for the advanced technology, people staying today have more convenience life than people who lived before the Internet revolution. People are endowed to buy lots of devices and machines, so they are able to do more things in limited time. However, some people believe that advanced technology still disturbs and has a negative effect on the users. In my opinion, I agree that it is more difficult to educate children today.

To begin with, children will be distracted by latest smartphone and game machine, so they can not concentrate on the study and doing homework. Sometimes it is too difficult for some students to manage their time, so they would break the balance between playing and studying. I have seen many cases of playing too many online games, so they have to crumble the whole test materials in the last week. This is really ineffective and it is not good for learning because there is no enough time to absorb the intelligence.

Secondly, the another reason to support my opinion is children might waste much time on watching the advertisement. There is no doubt that people can see the various advertisement on television and website in force, if the program truly goes for 50 minutes, the audience would actually spend 60 minutes watching all of them because the merchants insert the advertisement.

Last but not least, people and students spend huge time on receiving the advertisement on the screen, they are not only wasting time but also unable to pay attention to the class. People have their own smartphones, so students can browse the website wherever they stay, including the classroom. Therefore, many students play cell phones in the class, they are losing their chance to learn new knowledge and losing their chance to interact with teachers. Furthermore, I think looking down to smartphones is impolite to the speakers.

To sum up, I agree that educating students is more difficult today because those attracting devices and software make students can not concentrate on class, it is not only waste teachers' time but also students' time. Maybe it would be a critical issue for people to start solving this problem in the future.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,039 2725  
Mar 19, 2017   #2
Eric, the only score that your essay can get is a 3 due to the grammar problems that exist in your essay. To begin with, your opening statement inaccurately paraphrases the prompt for discussion. While the last sentence in your opening statement directly relates to the prompt, the preceding sentences do not establish the correct discussion topic nor format for discussion. That is the biggest problem that lowered the score for this essay. Then, you have inconsistent sentence development in the paragraphs and the mistakes in English vocabulary usage (i.e.crumble instead of cram) which made it very difficult for the reader to assess what you are trying to say in the sentence. There is a definite lack of clarity in the message the paragraph tries to deliver. Finally, these problems all combined to limit your ability to write even the simplest English sentence that would help to properly explain the meaning of your essay. Hence the possible maximum overall score of 3.
OP ERIC SUNG 3 / 5  
Mar 19, 2017   #3

Thanks for your advice, I get it.

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