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IELTS essay, new things or old things?


my88626 8 / 16 2  
Dec 9, 2012   #1
Dear all, thanks to help me correct my essay.

Topic: Nowadays, people always throw old things away and buy new things, whereas in the past, old things were repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects does the phenomenon lead to?

At the old times, people used to repair old things and used again. With the high speed developing of science and high technology, our life standard has been improved a lot. As a result, people would like to throw old things away as well as buy new things. In my point of view, if people always do like this, it will lead to bad effect to our living environment.

First of all, our life style and idea of consumption have been changed a lot according to the development of society, which I think is the main reason that cause the given phenomenon. Abandoning the old for the new has become a very common practice, just many people like "fast food " and "fast fashion". Instead of repairing old things, people adapt to new things very quickly. On the other hand, we have to pay a lot for the repair fee, it is also not very cost effective compared to buy a new one. What's more, some people would like to compare and afraid to fall behind all the times, they feel "safety" when they have all updated things.

When people buy new mobile phone or ipad, it help them to catch up with the most advanced technology. New cloths also make a person look beautiful and well dressed. Our daily life is being innovated by news things, which make our life more interesting and convenient.

However, new things make our life more attractive and interesting, it bring many negative problems as well. For example, together with the high speed updating and upgrading of goods, it will definitely lead to the waste of resources and environment pollution. As we all know, electronic products are one of the most fast changing products right now. If people buy new mobiles every year, it means that the mobile factory will use more materials. At the same time, people will follow something blindly and lose their reason to buy new things with much more money spent.

To sum up, although new things make our life much better than before, we should not ignore the problem it may occur. People need to have the right ideas of consumption, considering the balance of economic life style and protection of the resources and environment.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 9, 2012   #2
people used to repair old things and used them again.

.... this inclusion makes your idea more clear

With the high speed developing of science and high technology

With rapid development of science and technology

As a result, people would like to throw old things away as well asand buy new things.

''and'' is more appropriate

In my point of view, if people always do like this, it will lead to bad effect to our living environment.

Well.... you dont express a firm opinion : (
In my view, if people keep discarding old things and look for new replacements, this situation would lead to many negative impacts on our living environment.
April April 13 / 148 22  
Dec 13, 2012   #3
What's more

=> this sounds quite informal, you could use "Besides" or "Furthermore" instead

However,Although new things make our life more attractive and interesting, it brings about many negative problems as well .
joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Dec 13, 2012   #4
hai ...
I like your conclusion..
I feel you are running out of ideas..
Reason...
Follow fashion..
Cheap new items..
Attractive outlook..
Costly, rare, duplicate, spare parts..
High reparing charge..
Demand of change after a short use.

Impacts..

Pollution,
More energy for recycling..
More labour and lack of facility to dispose..
block the free flow of water in the sewage system.

Read more essays...
Tessy..
colin 23 / 48 15  
Dec 14, 2012   #5
With the high speed developing of science and high technology, our life standard has been improved a lot.
==>
With the science and high technology developing at the high speed, our living standard has been improved.
ththnho_tl 2 / 8  
Dec 14, 2012   #6
i see your essay isn't really clear. I mean your essay doesn't have a clear theses, it's so general. The structure is confused and so hard to understand. Besides that, word choice and word order also have some problem. I think you should review them in your essay.


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