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News about ordinary people bring other people's attention for local problems


ReskiRamadani88 43 / 57 5  
Oct 26, 2016   #1
Writing Task 2
The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?


In the present, technology has developed rapidly, people can find much information in several media, such as television programs, newspaper or the internet. Because of that, people can know local, international or anything news which they want to seen. Some people argue that, the media just should report about the activities of local people in the country. But in my view, I tend to agree about that, because other important to report by the media is activities of celebrities.

People who argue that, the media should report about lives of common people. They have main reason for their opinion. Ordinary people news brings other people to pay attention for local problems such as crime, natural disasters, killing, theft and other problems. For example, the first is, if citizens do not know about crime which occurs in a city, they will not care full when visit a city. It is important to know for safe our life. The second is natural disasters like tsunami, flood, and earthquake, it is important because we will aware of problems other people and can help them to solve their problem, may be give money, food or cloth.

On the other hand, to know the activities, problems or relationship of famous people also important. Because, it makes several people have motivation to follow their favorite actor and artist. For example, if people have favorite singer or player music, they will learn how to sing a song or instruments directly. Besides, for some people, the news becomes entertainments for them, and to know the development of fashion. So, it will not make citizens in a country have old-fashion and more know the global information.

In conclusion, I think that media have to report of celebrities problems or activities by local people and, because it is equally important to increase our knowledge about global or local news which occurs in around or beyond our rich.
faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Oct 26, 2016   #2
In the present, technology has developed rapidly

1. Present but why you use perfect ? If you like to use perfect tense you must add time period. For example add for/since for something that happened in the past but it's connected to present (based on grammar ielts book)

Since the past time, technology has developed rapidly

which they want to seensee

2. To Infinitive ---> To + V1 ---> To see

they will not care fullcareful when visit a city.

3. you make typo. careful not care full.

4. it is important because we will aware of problems other peopleother people's problem

Well, actually i still confused about your idea Rezki, because it not arranged well. So, try to re-arranged it.
ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Oct 27, 2016   #3
In the present, technology has developed rapidly,
do not need put time reference if you want to use present perfect, but it can be connected by using time reference 'since'

... news which they want to seensee.

If you want to use 'one idea paragraph' you must add the effect/result of the example that you mention before.

if citizens do not know about crime which occurs in a city, they will ...
the formula is --> if + S + V (present simple), S + V (future simple)
you add more conjunction 'when' + S + V

to avoid the repetitive words, you can use for instance to replace for example.

i hope it will be useful
KEEP WRITING EKI!
mardian24 46 / 75  
Oct 27, 2016   #4
Hi reski, I'm trying to make some corrections

1. In the present, technology has developeddevelops rapidly ...
'In the present' is time signal for simple present tense, hence use simple present form after the time signal. developed ----> develops

2. Because of that , people can know local ...
Because of is preposition, after that you make simple sentence which contains S and V, so eliminate 'of that' and it will be conjuction

3. ... because other important things to report by the media ...
important is adjective, so it needs noun after adjective, thus I add 'things' for noun with plural form

Thank you, break a leg for you.
badafebriani17 34 / 44 1  
Oct 27, 2016   #5
Hello reski. let me give you some suggestions

1. Because of that, people can know local, international or anything news which they want to seen.

better you add preposition before "local"----> about local news
don't forget add comma before conjunction "or"
anything--> "any" is used for negative sentence so you can change ---> everything news
seen--> Verb3. may better you use "see". because you used preposition "to"----> to see

so, my suggestion:
e.g: Because of that, people can know (about) local, international(,) or (everything) news which they want to see.

2. For example, the first is, if citizens (...) they will not care full when visit a city.

the first is---> i think there is missing subject. may be better you direct to mention "the first". without verb "is"

care full---> may be you just miss spelling--> it should be "careful"
when visit a city--->you can change "a city" --> "there". because you mentioned in previous sentence.

e.g: For example, the first, if citizens do not know about crime which occurs in a city, they will not careful when visit there.

i hope it will be useful. good luck.


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