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newspaper is going to die in the near future due to popularity of the internet?


thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Nov 4, 2009   #1
i am preparing for ielts test, but my writing is bad, could u help me point out my mistakes about grammar, sentence structure and logic.

thanks so much

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do u agree or disagree?

In many parts of the world, people of ten ...
(...)

In addition , people can...
(...)

DariusVassel15 3 / 6  
Nov 4, 2009   #2
In many parts of the world, people of ten talkPredictabout the predicted deathdemise of newspapers due to the wide availability of the internet around the world. Thosewhat people people believe that newspapers will be replaced by the internet in the near futurerepeated what you already said . However, I definitely disagree with this opinion for several reasons whichwill be clarified in this essay.Organizer sentence to list those three or how ever many reasons you have

First of all , there are many people who cannot afford the luxury of having for their own computer in whichorder to access the internet because of high costs, and newspapers are main information resource for them. make sentence more concise stronger diction Wewho is we cannot deny that many people in fact use the internet to getobtain all their information they need instead of reading traditional newspaper as was the societal norm in the pastthey used to . Nevertheless, most people living in developing countries are living and working in poor conditions, they do not have enough money to purchase computer so that exploit the advantages of using the internet.confusing sentance For thoseclarify people, newspapers are the most powerful media toolmean which help them acquire news daily. Instead of spending a large amount of money to buy computers so that enable access the internet, they need pay a little money for newspapers.reword

You have a strong idea but basically reiterate it in many different ways throughout the paragraph

Say the main reason of this paragraphIn additional , people can bring newspapers anywhere, so they believe that using newspapers is much more convenient than the internet. People can read newspapers when they are on buses to work or during the break at work, study. According to a recent survey in USA, television, the internet, radio and press the traditional newspapers are main information resources. Furthermore, most people prefer reading newspapers to surfing the internet, watching television and listening to radio, especially the morning newspapers are very popular in the life of American.

In conclusion, we have to acknowledge that sometimes the internet is more interesting than newspaper. When using the internet, people can not only read news, but also watching video, admire pictures and so on. However, I obviously believe that in the future, newspapers will still play an important role in the lifesociety . The important and popular level of newspapers can be less due to popularity of the internet, but it is in existence in the coming centuries.??? rephrase

Good ideas...just more organization but alot of potential, nice job i agree that in most developing countries newspapers will still have a place in the future.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Nov 5, 2009   #3
Thanks Darius, that is some great work!

This essay is good! It does not have many mistakes...

...people often talk...

at the beginning, you are writing about whether the demand for newspaper will die, but at the end you conclude that the newspaper is interesting. I think you should change that first sentence of the last paragraph to match your thesis statement from the first paragraph.

Good luck!!


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