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Next career steps for graduate and post-graduate students in the UK


iksticker 1 / -  
Apr 8, 2018   #1

activities of students after graduation



The bar charts represent data about graduate and post-graduate students in the UK. They did not work in full-time after they graduated from college. Both graduate and post graduate students were positions including the further study, past-time work, unemployment and, voluntary work.

First, let's take a look at the graduate students in the UK .The highest number of students was the further study. It was 29,665 students which is a higher number of students than part time work. Moreover, it was double the size than the part time work. The lowest number of students was voluntary work. It was 3,500 students which is a lower number of students than the further study.

Secondly, let's take a look at the students of postgraduates in the UK. The highest number of students was the further study. It was 2,723 students which is as same number of students as the part time work. It was 345 students and around 0.1 times of the further study.

Thirdly, more the students of graduates than the students of postgraduates did not work in full-time. It was about 10 times over the year.

Alao0702 6 / 13 3  
Apr 16, 2018   #2
Iksticker, in my opinion, I'd suggest you should work on the main point(which usually comes as the first sentence of each paragraph) for each of your paragraphs. In essence, the main point tells your reader what to expect as he goes deeper into the body of your paragraph. "Make it sound interesting such that your reader would want to read more".

Moreover, your essay fails to draw a conclusion. Concluding paragraphs are equally important as introductory ones, since they provide a summary of all the points made in the body of the essay.

Finally, when making transitions from one paragraph to another, avoid transition words like "firstly", "secondly", "thirdly" etc. You can opt for words such as Moreover, Furthermore, In addition, However(for transition into a paragraph which opposes the main idea of a preceding paragraph).


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