restriction to control noise
A moderate number of people believe that restriction should be enforced to control noise. While other people hold the view that they are free to make as much noise as they want, I am of the opinion that it is necessary to diminish noise.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why people would like to make noise. The first reason stems from people demands. In these days, with the development of technology and entertainment, a significant number of teenagers are into turning music with high volume, especially in some parties. For them, it may be a convenient way to relax with friends after a long working day without paying attention to their neighborhood; therefore, it could disturb these neighborhood during rest time. Another reason is the modernization process. For some people who live in urban areas, exposure to noise from car or factories is inevitable. As a result, it is tough to restrict noise.
On the other hand, declining noise is undoubtedly indispensable for citizens. Firstly, it accelerate the risks of contracting disablilities. Suffering from loud noise can have negative impacts on victims ear, which leads to a variety of auditory problems. In addition, it also affects people health. Bearing noise at night may results in the quality of sleep. As a consequence, lack of sleeping time influences in the productivity and working effectiveness in the long-term period.
In conclusion, It can not be denied that people are free to make noise in order to entertain and relax after long hours working. However, they should understand the negative effects on other people to avoid turning noise with massive volume@Quang Nguyen
The first thing I would like to suggest to you is that you should put the detailed topic in order that any reader can understand what the purpose is and if you are follow the right way.
Besides, I can see that your grammar seems to be not suitable while it's like exactly a script of the speaking. A/an/the is not trully used, which makes me feel a little confused sometimes.
In the third paragraph, you also should have a conclusion sentence that only concludes the main meaning of the paragraph.
Hopefully, my comment can help you enhance your score!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 This is a dual point of view comparative discussion with a personal opinion discussion essay. You managed to present your personal opinion as a part of the outlined discussion process, but you failed to properly explain your opinion in the succeeding reasoning paragraphs. Therefore, your essay is tangential in response and will not be completely scored based on the prompt requirements. You will have deductions due to the lacking personal opinion paragraph / presentation.
The reasoning paragraphs are not completely developed. The first reasoning paragraph has a properly developed first reason, but an under developed second reason. If you want to score better, make sure to fully develop your explanations. In this case, you only needed to present one reasoning topic and develop it. You do not need a pair of reasons if you cannot properly develop the second reason. It should be developed in the same manner as the first. However, you should only use a maximum of 5 sentences per paragraph, so it would be better to focus your efforts on clearly explaining a single topic instead.
The second reasoning paragraph is not properly explained either. You only use one sentence as an explanation for each topic. That is a very under developed explanation on your part. It is not effective and will not get you a decent score.
