Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0] - SERVICES
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Should noise be controlled?


FarFarSong 1 / 2  
Sep 27, 2017   #1

noice impact on people's life



Living in modern society, people can hear a variety of sounds made by traffic, machines or people; however, if these sounds are so loud that individuals can not afford, we would call them "noises". Since noises have been frequently created in human's living environment, it is generally believed that they must be restricted by formal law. On the other hand, there are also some of the liberalism supporters claim such agendas might offence individual's freedom. In this essay, I will mention both side's arguments and concluded with my own opinion.

Noise, defined as a kind of pollution, has more seriously influenced many people's normal life than before, was wished to get rid of life by them. One of the impacts is the decrease of people's quality of life. For example, the sound of a high-speed car made by gangsters at midnight usually interrupts other's sleeping and causes some people not to fall asleep again. If the situation remains for a period of time, it would make them lost energy and decrease their work efficiency. Furthermore, the noise would cause both physical or mental illness, like high blood pressure, heart disease, or anxiety disorder. A medical investigation showed people who live in a noisy environment have much more probability by 50 percent than normal people getting the mental disease.

However, not everyone agrees with the rule to control noise. Those who suggest noise should not be tackled by law think the noise is a normal factor exist around us, just like water, wind sound exists in nature. Additionally, the most noises created in our society are in result from activities which can benefit our lives, like the building constructing, car driving; it will just cause advantages due to the rising cost if we make restrict on the voice of such activities.

In conclusion, although some negative influence might happen if human try to control noises, our society still need to struggle to decrease the creation of noises, for they make more impact on people's normal life. To achieve the purpose of controlling noise, the government have to set the agenda to decrease noise pollution and put the activities which might create loud voice under surveillance. Therefore, people will live in higher quality without noise.

Holt - / 7,530 2001  
Sep 27, 2017   #2
Cheng, next time you post an essay for review, please remember to post the complete and original prompt along with it. That will help me to better assess the compatibility of your responses with the requirements of the prompt and the given instructions. At this point, I cannot tell if you are properly discussing this essay or not so I will just stick to general observations this time around.

For starters, please be cognizant of your spelling. There are a number of times in this essay when you misspelled words such as noise - noice and offense as offence. I have to also call your attention to the scattered manner of discussion that you present in this essay. At some points, you seem to be discussing opinions regarding noise then suddenly, I find myself reading about the advantage of noise in our society. Your thought process is not clearly presented throughout the essay. That is what caused the contradictory discussions and unfocused paragraph discussion points. This is truly a terribly written essay, and I am saying that without even knowing what the actual prompt you are responding to is.

As of this moment, I cannot offer any guidelines to help you improve your writing skills because I do not really know what prompt you are responding to. So the method of directing your essay writing skills is difficult to pinpoint. Hopefully you will present me with the original prompt requirement when you post your next essay. I will be able to better advise you about your problem points when that time comes.
benh44 3 / 4  
Sep 27, 2017   #3
@FarFarSong

You need a good thesis statement. A sentence to start your essay out that outlines its entire pacing and narrative. If you can come up with one that outlines your essay it would tie it together!
OP FarFarSong 1 / 2  
Sep 28, 2017   #4
@Holt
Thanks for your response. I'll pay more attention to my spelling and try to correct them before I submit my essay and please comprehend that I have to discuss both sides. This is the prompt of my topic:

Some people think that the amount of noise people make should be controlled strictly, while others say that people are free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.@benh44


Home / Writing Feedback / Should noise be controlled?