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Nokia had the biggest market share among the cell phone brands between 2005 and 2006


hasbi 29 / 42 23  
Sep 30, 2015   #1
The table illustrates the global market share of the cell phone for workers based on factories from 2005 to 2006. Overall, it is immediately apparent that Nokia witnessed the highest percentage of mobile phone market share over the time frame

By 32.5 percent in 2005, Nokia was the most popular mobile phone in the world. Next year, it experienced an increased at 35 percent. Compare with others, this figure decreased sharply from at 19.2 percent in 2005 to 16.2 percent in the last period. Meanwhile, Motorola and Sony Ericsson grew gradually during a two-period by 3 % and 1 % respectively.

On the other hand, three other mobile phone brands reminded declined. Samsung phone fell gradually during the period from 12.7 % to 11.8 %. Furthermore, LG indicates dropped slightly of the number of market share by 0.4 % in the next year. BenQ mobile phone showed low percentage, no more than 5 %.




vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 30, 2015   #2
Hasbi, you need to clarify your introduction. Indicate that the figures are based upon the factory output from 2005-2006. Also, you do not need to mention "workers" in your overview. It is enough to say market share. You should also change "over the same time frame" to "within the time frame" since you never went beyond those 2 years in your comparison chart. Here are more corrections:

By 32.5 percent in 2005, Nokia was the most popular mobile phone in the world
- Nokia was the most popular phone in the world at 32.5. % market share in 2005.

THE next year, it experienced an increased at 35 percent

CompareD with others, -always use the past tense when discussing event and information that has already occurred or belong in the past.

to 16.2 percent in the last period 2006. - Be data specific with it comes such records. Always refer to verifiable information.

during THE two YEAR period by

Furthermore , LG indicateD A SLIGHT dropped slightly of the number of THEIR market share by 0.4 % in 2006. BenQ mobile phone showed AN EVEN LOWER low percentage OF no more than 5 %.

The positive side of the essay is that at least you understood what you were expected to discuss and you did it, even if you used improper grammar :-)


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