Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

'nouveaux riche' - Technology increases or reduces the rich poor gap?


Linhpt 2 / 3 2  
Feb 4, 2015   #1
Some people argue that the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gaps between the rich and the poor. Others argue that it has opposite effects.

Discuss both of the views and give your opinions.


The leaps in technology development has benefited humankind in all aspects, spurring production and economy, hence increasing individual incomes. Some argue that the progress has created the nouveaux riche, enlarging the rich poor gap, while others say ostensibly it has balanced income allocation and reduced the gap. I think both arguments have their merits.

Technology brings about equal chances to everyone, especially in term of information thanks to the advent of the Internet. Students in developing countries are now able to access online courses oversea like domestic students. Educational sites such as Open universities and Khan academy have helped free and paid courses spread out all over the world. Information about scholarships are usually published on universities' websites, giving chances to every competent international students competing equally with each other. All these advantages espouse students to prepare for their career, helping children in poor and remote areas to become skilled and well-educated employees with much higher salaries. To attest to this is the number of the illiterate has declined in most countries while average incomes and living standards has significantly improved over the last decade.

However, according to economic analysts, technology advances do have effect on the rich poor gap because of their support in production. Automated manufacturing plants have produced more products with lower costs than ever, creating huge companies on the market with increasing marginal revenues each years. Also, modern technologies used in marketing, logistics and construction has brought these companies out of the border, seeking for new markets, and consequently their CEO and directors are paid equivalent amounts to their huge profits. It is said that only 20 percent of world population are the rich but their assets count for 80 percent of total asset. More over, new technologies have created wide rage of luxurious products for the rich, making the gap between them and the poor clearer.

To conclude, technology progress have two side effect on the rich poor gap; however it does leverage the living standards, making the poor less poor than they were in previous decades.

-------- Thank in advances for checking my essay.

shintacandrade 10 / 74 87  
Feb 4, 2015   #2
Hi nouveaux riche, let me comment on your writing nd I hope it can help you :)

Para 1:
The leaps in technology development has benefited -- have as the subject is plural.[/i]

Para 2:
Information about scholarships are -- is as the subject is uncountable.

every competent international students --student because every should be followed by singular.

Para 4:
technology progress have two side effect --technology progresshastwo side effects .

Good Luck!
Cuynomellen 4 / 3 3  
Feb 6, 2015   #3
Please, arranging your body with general to specific. This is my suggestion for your body;

Admittedly, technology will give more opportunities for people who live under poverty line especially education. Due to the fact that education is a basic need for brilliant career, people will cut down poverty number. For instance, Khan academy, an education website, give resources which are free for access in remote areas. Other examples, scholarship sites which are published in university, giving much more opportunities with equal proportions. As a result, deprived people will gain positive feedback for their future jobs which will earn a huge sums of money.

My suggestion is be more specific in each main idea.
Your flow sentences will good when you use ; main idea, reasons, specific example and results.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'nouveaux riche' - Technology increases or reduces the rich poor gap?