benefits and drawbacks of the nuclear energy
At the present, many nations on the globe are considering using nuclear power to generate energy in order to satisfy the increasing needs of energy. It is partly agreed that atomic energy is an effective option. This essay will discuss, firstly the benefits that is offered by nuclear energy and secondly, some drawbacks that it brings to those countries, followed by a reasoned conclusion.
On the one side, nuclear technology has many advantages over conventional ones. Firstly, it is much more environmentally friendly since it releases a small amount of carbon dioxide. In contrast, most fossil fuels energy such as coal, oil emits a great deals of toxic substances into the environment that harms lots of people as well as pollutes the air of the area nearby. Secondly, it is renewable energy so it can tackle the problem of the scarcity of energy souces at the moment. Moreover nuclear power is able to generate a large amount of electricity to serve millions of people in a countries. Therefore it can prevent power cuts due to the shortage of power. For instance, USA is able to provide electricity to more than 300 millions of citizens since it has a lots of nuclear power stations.
On the other hand, atomic energy also has some drawbacks that can outweight its merits. First of all, building a nuclear power station requires a large amount of money. Government could utilize that money to invest in education or to build more hospitals as well as roads instead of constructing nuclear power factory. Therefore some undeveloped or developing countries cannot afford to build a factory. Secondly, nuclear power is particularly dangerous due to its radiation. For example, a collapse of a nuclear power factory Fukusima in Japan caused detrimental effects on its citizens since they had to move to another area because of radiation.
In conclusion, although nuclear power can handle some problems at the moment, I partly agree that it should be used because of its disavanages
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,552 3449
Your overall approach to the discussion is incorrect. This is a single opinion essay based on an agree or disagree question. You are discussing it using an A/D format which shows that you misunderstood the question and discussion instructions. You are using an incorrect discussion format which will result in a failing TA score. Then, in the conclusion, you used a measured extent response to close the essay rather than a proper summary conclusion format. An additional reason as to why this essay cannot achieve a passing score.
When the question is Agree/Disagree, you have to decide on your opinion of the topic provided, based on included reasons, then pick an opinion that you will defend based on a personal understanding of additional reasons. You cannot change the discussion format to one that you have chosen because that is a prompt deviation and will always result in a failing score cue to questionable English comprehension skills.
Hi, as @Holt said, when the question is Agree/Disagree, all you are expected to do is to indicate your agreement or disagreement and detail your reasons, evidence and personal experience to support it. Make sure that you are not involved in a two-sided discussion where both advantages and disadvantages, cons and pros, are offered.
In this case, if you agree with the statement, you should only detail the advantages of nuclear power. If you don't, you should only detail the disadvantages. If you list both advantages and disadvantages, it will be a prompt deviation which will drag down your score.
I know that IELTS applicants including me are used to two-sided discussion, but there are topics where the format does not apply.
In addition, I have some reservations about the sentence:
"For instance, USA is able to provide electricity to more than 300 millions of citizens since it has a lots of nuclear power stations."
As far as I know, nuclear power is actually in decline in America. I don't think it a good choice to use the US to defend your position. It would be better if you said "nuclear energy is much more efficient in electricity generation than any other form of energy, because nuclear fuel is far more powerful than both traditional fossil fuel such as coal and other renewable energy including wind"
Please allow me to give you some feedback from your essay
1) A great deal - not a great deal(S)
2) Here are some words which need to be fixed: "SOURCES" . "A COUNTRY" . ""OUTWEIGH" . "The government" "Disadvantages"
3) you should add comma after the word Moreover
4) 300 million of citizens (not millions)
Hope these will help you. :) also, please take couple minute to check your work before sending your work.