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IELTS writing Task I about the number of fish caught and the number of fishing boats.


Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 19, 2016   #1
(NB: i am sorry i cannot insert the graph pictures because the image in my book)

A breakdown of the number of fish caught and the number of fishing crafts in Westhaven since 2008 until 2011 is shown by the bar charts. Taking everything into consideration, 2011 is the year with the greatest number of fish caught in both types of fish and fish crafts.

There was a gradual rise of the number of tuna that was caught since 2009 by 10. In 2008, swordfish caught stood at 75 while tuna caught was higher than tuna catching. Although the swordfish caught had an alternate trend between increase and decrease in each year, we can say that the swordfish caught had an increase trend. In the other hand, the swordfish caught stood at 75 and was reached 100 at 2011. The number of tuna catching in 2010 as equal as the sum of swordfish caught in 2011.

Furthermore, the total number of fish crafts stood at 50 in 2008. After a year, it was increased slightly in 2009 by 5 and continued reached a peak in 2011 by 15. In addition, there was a linier relation between the number of swordfish caught and the sum of fish crafts.

ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Nov 19, 2016   #2
Hi Dioba

Here are my thoughts :)

You can search the diagram in google actually, just type the question as a keyword because we cannot check your task achievement if you do not put the chart

There was a gradual rise ofin the number of tuna

the swordfish caught had an increaseincreasing trend.
you should change the form of 'increase' as an adjective in noun phrase of 'an increasing trend'

InOn the other hand, ...
'In the other hand; is not an idiom in the English language. the meaning can be that you are holding something in the "other" hand

'On the other hand' means from an opposing point of view.


it was increased slightly ...

In addition, there was a linierlinear relation between ...

KEEP WRITING!
alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 19, 2016   #3
Hello dioba good writing, I suggest you, It's important to include an overview of the graph or chart. This usually comes at the end of your aswer, though it may fit somewhere else, such as after the introduction.

and this is a few correction from me.

A breakdown of the number of fish caught and the number ... >> is better if use this (The graph shows the number... )
mardian24 46 / 75  
Nov 19, 2016   #4
Hi dioba, let me give some comments on your essay.

1. ... of fish caught and the number of fishing crafts ...
You can erase the second 'the number of' to make it more efficient because you've already mentioned it before.

2. There was a gradual rise ofin the number ...
You can use 'in' to tell about the data that you want to talk about

3. ... 75 and was reached by 100 atin 2011 ...
To mention a year, you can use preposition 'in;.

Thank You
Keep writing
Beauty17 56 / 88 5  
Nov 19, 2016   #5
Hallo dioba dilli.. here i try to give you some notes. .

... until 2011 is shown by IN the bar charts. Taking everything(WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH THIS STATEMENT, IT IS UNCLEAR)into consideration, 2011 is ...

... stood at 75 while tuna caught was higher than tuna catching.(TUNA CAUGHT MEANS SAME WITH TUNA CATCHING SO WHICH ONE IS THE HIGHER)Although the swordfish (...) decrease in each year, we can say that the swordfish caught had an increase trend . DO NOT USE ANY OPINIONS IN WRITING TASK 1In the other hand, the swordfish caught stood atWAS 75 and was reached(WAS REACHED DOUBLE VERBS) 100 at 2011.

Keep writing and GOOD LUCK KOKO!
septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Nov 19, 2016   #6
Hello! I will give you some opinions about your essay.

(1) A breakdown of the number of fish caught and the number of fishing crafts in Westhaven since from 2008 until to 2011 isare shown by the bar charts.

(2) ..., 2011 iswas the year with ...

Taking everything into consideration, 2011 experienced the greatest number of fish caught ...

(3) There was a gradual rise ofin the number of tuna ...
(4) Although the swordfish caught had an alternate trend between increase and ...

Although the swordfish caught had a shift trend, it witnessed to increase

(5) ... stood at 75 and itwas reached 100 at 2011.
(6) After a year, it was increased slightly in 2009 by 5 and continued to reached a peak in 2011 by 15.


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