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The number of fliers who use three main airports in New York City - IELTS Writing Task 1

akmalnov 3 / 6  
May 15, 2016   #1
The bar chart depicts the number of fliers who use three main airports in New York City to travel during a 5-year period from 1995 to 2000. Overall, most of the time travelers were usually airborne from LaGuardia airport. However, travelers were more infrequent departed from Newark airport

A further look to the data between 1995 and 2000, LaGuardia passenger's number growth gradually from 35 percent to 70 percent within 5 years. Likely, Newark airport reveals the improvement from 1995 to 1998 and continued stable to the end of of period. While the figures for John F. Kennedy airport fluctuated between 28 per cent and 48 per cent.

However, the number of fliers at John F. Kennedy airport are able to surpass the number of LaGuardia airport in 1997 as the highest percentage in an average among the remaining airports. Indicates inconstant proportion peaked by 48 per cent in 1997 compares to LaGuardia airport nearly at 34 percent. There was no significant challenges by Newark passenger's number towards their constant percentage.

Sawsana 5 / 16 2  
May 15, 2016   #2
Dear yoy need to use more of linking words and you have to show where is the first paragraph and how to end the conclusion

Your report it's so good and very clear to read
But try to work on the structure and grammar
justivy03 - / 2366 607  
May 15, 2016   #3
Hi Akmal, here's my take on your analysis;

- used three main airports
- most of the time, ( don't forget your punctuation marks ) travelers
- were usually airborne
- were more infrequent departedto depart from Newark airport

- LaGuardia'spassenger's
- number of passenger
- growthgrew gradually from
- continued stableits stability to the end
- of ofthe period.

- Indicates inconstantThe proportion
- indicated an inconsistent risepeaked
- by 48 per cent in 1997 compared to LaGuardia
- waswere no significant challenges
- bywith the Newark passenger's

There you have it Akmal, I hope you find the corrections above as helpful to your analysis as it is aimed to be.
For future writing reference, mind the forms of the words you use in your sentences, as this affects the overall impact of your analysis.

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