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IELTS WRITING TASK 1: number of girls enrolled per 100 boys in different level of school education

emilakam 2 / 3  
Aug 16, 2018   #1

the number of girls per hundred boys studying

The given three bar graphs illustrate the number of girls per hundred boys studying in three main levels of school education. The graph compares the change in enrollment pattern in developed and developing countries in years 1990 and 1998.

Overall, developed countries focus more on girl education than developing countries, at all levels .Nevertheless, both developed and developing countries showed increase in regards, over the period of time.

The number of girls per hundred boys enrolled in primary education was 83 in 1990 for developing countries and in 1998, it increased only by 4.In comparison developed countries had 95 girls per hundred boys in 1990, and showed negligible change over 8 years. For secondary level, girls ratio declined for developing nations from 83 to 72 and 87 to 82 in year 1990 and 1998 respectively. For developed countries, both figures rose by 3.

Surprisingly, in tertiary level, gap widens between developed and developing countries as in former, for 100 boys only 66 girls were registered in 1990 and 75 in 1998. In contrast, developed nations superseded the target of 100 at 105 and 112 in both years.(187 words)

Kindly also suggest how to condense my report to 150 words.

Minh2903 6 / 13 3  
Aug 16, 2018   #2
I suggest that you should state clearly that " that bar chart illustrates." instead of " the three given.."
Moreover, 150 words are the minimum requirement for task 1, and I have read that the best length should be around 180 words.
There is minor grammar mistake you should take care of: ...showed increase increases in regards...
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,250 4653  
Aug 17, 2018   #3
One way to limit your word count is to avoid the repetition of information throughout the essay. You often repeated the phrase "per hundred boys" in this essay, which unnecessarily increased your word count. You need to mention the information regarding the measurement only once in the essay. Usually, this is mentioned as part of the summary overview or trending statement. Which makes for easy reference for your reader as he reads your report analysis.

Another way that you can compress your writing to 150 words is to create a one topic trending statement rather than presenting a comparative trending statement. You have to pick whether you want to present the upward or downward trend for that statement. You should base your trending statement on whichever has the higher level of graph movement. That would be the information that will be more important to the reader.

There will always be a tendency for you to write a little over 150 words if you want to present an accurate analytical presentation. I have seen essays presented with 151 words at the very least for the practice test. I always advise students to aim for 175 words in the Task 1 essay though. That figure represents the number of words needed in the overall essay to gain the highest scoring possibilities in all 4 scoring considerations.

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