Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Writing task 1 about the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city


mai_meooooo 1 / -  
Nov 22, 2018   #1

questions sent to a Tourist Information Office



The line graph illustrates the figure for questions sent to the Tourist Information Office in particular city from January to June in the year 2011.
Overall, it is clear that while the number of queries in person and by telephone increased, letters or email became less common choice. In additionally, there is a significant change in the figure for visitors who made inquiries in person.

In the first month of 2011, the Tourist Information Office received 900 questions form telephone. The figure for letters or mail and person were lower, at around 750 ones and 450 ones. In the next two months, telephone still remained the most popular method with 1000 enquiries. The number of queries by telephone steadily rise to 800 questions in March. At the same time, there is a small decline in the figure for inquiries by letter or email to 750 ones.

Looking at the chart in more detail, from March to June, there is a similar trend in the number of enquiries in person and via telephone. They reached at peak at 1900 questions in person and 1600 questions by telephone. By contrast, the Tourist Information Office gave the figure for letters or email decreased to 350 questions in June.




Holt - / 7,529 2001  
Nov 23, 2018   #2
Ngoc, you managed to provide enough relevant information albeit in a very confusing manner in this analytical essay. You suffer from a lack of connecting word usage such as "the" and "a" throughout the presentation. Your essay actually lacks clarity in the information discussion due to your poor word choices. The timeline in your presentation is all off. If you are discussing something that happened in 2011, then all reference actions should be in past tense rather than present tense, a common mistake throughout your essay.

As per the information you provided, I did not see a reference to the 2011 year in the chart. Neither was there a reference to a generic city anywhere in the chart. Please remember, for accuracy purposes, if you don't see the data in the chart, you don't put it in the report / refer to it in the analysis. That creates a questionable and inaccurate report on your part and could lower your TA score. My suggestion is that you read more sample task 1 essays as provided at this forum and learn from the advice given. You should find yourself writing your own task 1 essays in a better manner after reading about the mistakes and corrections applied to the work of others.


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing task 1 about the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city