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Number of people including grown-ups as well as kids have been working and studying online from home

inzang 2 / -  
Aug 25, 2022   #1

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home

In the recent years, an increasing number of people including grown-ups as well as kids have been working and studying online at home thanks to lower price and easier accessibility of technology. It has been widely argued that whether this brings out positive effects or the opposite ones. I firmly agree that it would result in a great deal of benefits rather than disadvantages.

Firstly, one of the most significant merits time saving and money saving. Imagine if working online, a large amount of time and money for transportation, specifically petrol of gas could be economized. It also helps to avoid rush hour traffic jams and ease the flow. Furthermore, online students and employees or workers could gain time flexibility for revising, self studying, doing homework or finishing tasks since having plenty of time after work hours and school time. That is also suitable for workers who are parents in taking care of toddlers or infancies since they need a lot of attention.

Another vital advantage is that it helps to reduce waste and therefore the environment condition would be improved. There is not necessary for going out to much so lower carbon emissons is produced and that leads to lower possibility of ozone layer depletion. Additionally, by using technology instead of papers or other stationeries that are not environmentally friendly, a significant effort is made to upgrade the ecosystem and to help make a positive change to the environment conditon.

In conclusion, many people have been working online at home using advanced devices seems to be a beneficial innovation due to the stated reasons including time and money saving, time flexibility and environmental protection. Not only does it allow people to continue to work and study in a convenient space but it also comes along with a considerable number of other positive influences.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,249 4652  
Aug 26, 2022   #2
People references adults and children. It is an all encompassing reference that does not need specific mentions afterwards. Since the essay clearly separates the groups into adults and children, it is better not to use collective references, just to avoid potential confusion in word usage.

The second sentence is improperly formed resulting in a confusing reference. A reference to wide arguments is the most likely cause of this problem. Removing the over statement actually makes for a clearer sentence idea. The writer also proceeded to deviate or change the discussion perspective from positive or negative to an advantage or disadvantage discussion The essay no longer met the task requirements at this point. The examiner cannot give this paragraph a passing early score anymore because of this mistake.

Discussion paragraphs are not effectively used. The positive aspects should have separately focused on WFH and SFH As indicated by the original prompt. One paragraph containing a 5 sentence justification for each group would have been the more accurate discussion format.

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